Picture Perfect: The Aftermath Of What Was Before
by Kiva Taliana
Summary: Following on from Merlin's sudden awakening, the people in his life are forced to reassess their boundaries and while Arthur desperately fights to get his job back he discovers that his talents mean there is more to him that just his job title. And while all that goes on Arthur and Merlin still have to face what happened, and what they did for each other.
1. Chapter 1

The morning had been nothing unusual. Elena started her usual rounds, sorting breakfast for the residents. Since two of them were up and about by the time she arrived to relieve Lancelot, who had been on night duty, and she went to Merlin last, carrying in his breakfast tray to get him fed and then dressed.

"Hello Merlin!" she announced brightly as she opened the door and stared at the empty bed. For a brief second panic set in, then her gaze moved to the seat by the window. Her eyes widened as she looked at Merlin, dressed in jeans, his blue shirt and red neckerchief, his eyes staring directly at her. She froze, wondering for a moment who had got him up and dressed him. Lancelot hadn't said anything to her, or she supposed it might have been Percival.

She got the answer as Merlin lifted his right hand.

"Hi."

The tray crashed to the floor as Elena gave a yelp of shock. Lancelot, who was in earshot, came running. Then so did Percival, then Gaius, and Hunith arrived twenty minutes later. Ten minutes after that, it occurred to Lancelot to call Arthur.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

For what seemed like hours they didn't do anything but stare at each other. However, Arthur, in reality, knew it was nothing more than seconds. Merlin tensed against him, and Arthur tightened his grip on Merlin's wrist.

"Merlin!"

Hunith appeared, skidding to a halt as she looked at Arthur, who had contained Merlin. A quivering, shocked Merlin. Merlin turned to his mother but bumped against Arthur, getting as close as he could to him.

"Merlin, it's all right," Arthur soothed. He felt a strong level of calm descend on him. Merlin was up, and moving, and talking. Arthur hadn't broken him in some way, in any way. He was right there, stood up, moving on his own. Lancelot popped his head out of the door, relaxing as he saw Arthur. Arthur felt Merlin press against him, turning his head away from the crowd of people.

"All right," Arthur murmured to him before turning to Lancelot. "I presume that was the phone message you left me?"

Arthur looked around for his phone, spotting it on the carpet. He couldn't really retrieve it without letting go of Merlin. As long as nobody stood on it he supposed it didn't really matter, he had no intention of letting Merlin's wrist go.

"Merlin?" Hunith asked in concern. Arthur frowned, wondering how many people had been in Merlin's room.

"Give me a minute," Arthur advised backing up a step. The room next door, where Percival was staying, in case of another media invasion, lay currently empty. Arthur guessed Percival was part of the crowd in Merlin's room. Arthur drew Merlin into it, instinct telling him that too many people had probably freaked Merlin out. Merlin shuffled along with him, relaxing so that when Arthur sat him on the end of the bed he remained utterly compliant. Crouching down Arthur assessed him again, Merlin's blue eyes stared back, thankfully still with him. The last thing the situation needed was Merlin retreating back into himself, overwhelmed with the shock of other people's reactions.

Arthur wondered if his assessment was his own or something Merlin was telling him.

Merlin's arm squirmed in his grip but Arthur didn't let go, he relaxed a little and Merlin eased his arm back so his hand slid into Arthur's, they twined their fingers together and Merlin's grip increased.

"All right, it's okay. Take deep breaths."

Merlin took one, holding it for a moment before exhaling heavily and doing the same thing again.

"Better?" Arthur asked. Merlin nodded, taking another excessive breath. Arthur used the grip he had on Merlin's hand to turn his wrist and pressing down started to check his pulse. Merlin tensed, in a very familiar way, although this time the reaction was stronger.

"I'm just trying to check your pulse," Arthur said. Merlin squirmed slightly but stopped trying to remove his hand from Arthur's. After feeling the fast thud of Merlin's heart Arthur turned his head.

"Lancelot?"

"Yep," Lancelot's head appeared around the door, which Arthur had closed slightly.

"Can you fetch my medical kit? I presume it's still in my consultation room where I left it."

"Sure, I'll find it."

He disappeared again. Arthur looked up watching as Merlin blinked rapidly.

"What?" Arthur asked. There was no point asking if Merlin was all right, he clearly wasn't. Then again he had just woken up from months in a catatonic stupor, feeling overwhelmed probably wasn't that bizarre for the situation. Arthur rubbed Merlin's wrist, and Merlin took another breath.

"I feel a bit light-headed."

Arthur shifted his weight to one knee, his good one, so he could kneel up and he put a hand to the back of Merlin's head.

"Put your head down a minute."

Arthur felt Merlin resist him for a moment before dropping his head down between his knees. He felt Merlin take several deep breaths and he rubbed the back of Merlin's head, feeling the thick but soft hair. In response Merlin rested his forehead on Arthur's collar bone.

"All right, just calm down, I think you over did yourself a little."

"I couldn't help it, with all of them in there. They weren't doing anything, it's just…."

Arthur carried on stroking Merlin's hair, and holding his hand.

"Who was in there?" Arthur asked, it occurred to him that Merlin hadn't had much of a crowd around him, since he had moved into the hospital, only one or two people at any one time, and he probably shouldn't be running around, even if he had only gone out of the door. He wondered if anyone had tried to contain him, which probably would have set Merlin off even further.

"My mum, Percival, Elena, Gaius and Lancelot," Merlin said rattling off the names with easy familiarity. Aside from Hunith, they were all people Merlin had met while catatonic, which at least proved to Arthur that Merlin had been aware of what was around him.

"Too many in one go?" Arthur murmured.

"Uh-huh."

Merlin took several more breaths, closing his eyes as Arthur's fingers ran through his hair. He heard Arthur's low, steady tone of voice saying general and soothing reassurances. Merlin didn't pay too much attention to the words but let the low steady sound of Arthur's voice soothe his mind, as if often had done.

"Better?" Arthur eventually asked. Merlin didn't speak but his head moved against Arthur's shoulder as he nodded. Arthur carried on rubbing the back of his neck as the door brushed against the carpet, the sound light, but in the quiet room Merlin heard it and Arthur felt his shoulders tense. Lancelot quietly tip-toed into the room and placed Arthur's bag down on the floor a short distance away from him before backing out of the room. The same light sound of the door brushing the carpet occurred as Lancelot pulled it shut again. Reaching behind him Arthur picked up the bag, as his shoulders twisted Merlin lifted his head, blinking rapidly as he opened his eyes.

"Let's just take a look at you," Arthur said.

He ran through the usual tests, checking Merlin's breathing, his heart and his blood pressure. Merlin compliantly allowed him to do so. Arthur remembered the first day he had done this, that first morning he had encountered Merlin. The only difference this time was Merlin's eyes remaining steadily on him throughout, watching what Arthur did with mild interest.

"You're all right Merlin. Fit and well. One at a time maybe?"

"What?"

"Hunith?" Arthur called.


	2. Chapter 2

Since she stepped into the room almost a second later she had clearly been waiting by the door. It was easy to presume that she would be the first one Arthur allowed in. Hunith entered slowly, looking a little wary. Arthur slowly rose up, tidying up his equipment, stepping away from Merlin.

Merlin looked up at his mother, who carefully sat down on the bed next to him, reaching out to wrap her arms around him.

"Sorry," Merlin said.

"Oh sweetheart, it's all right. I'm just glad you're all right."

She hugged Merlin to her, running a hand up and down his back. Merlin wrapped his arms around her waist, leaning against her. Arthur watched them for a moment, taking in each movement Merlin made, by himself, without anyone directing him. It seemed like little more than a miracle. Merlin had been in his catatonic state for nearly five months, that they knew of. It could have been longer, nobody knew when Merlin had retreated. The only ones who did were Merlin himself, and Cenred, who couldn't speak now, and never had when he had been alive. He quite happily talked about what he had done but when anyone had tried to lead the discussion round to Merlin's or any of his victim's welfare Cenred ceased talking.

The thought made Arthur sigh heavily. It caught Merlin's attention. He turned to look at Arthur. Arthur smiled at him.

"I'll leave it a little while, but my father will have to be told."

Hunith nodded, but Merlin bit down on his lip in apprehension.

"I won't have to make a statement or anything?"

Hunith tightened her grip on him. Merlin put his head down on her shoulder. Arthur crouched again and reaching out placed a hand on Merlin's thigh.

"Maybe but you probably won't need to say that much. Most of the evidence speaks for itself."

Cenred had been caught red-handed, almost literally. Arthur didn't mention his own issues. It didn't seem worth it. Merlin looked at him steady, Arthur noticed him shaking slightly.

"What about you though? I was witness to what you had to do."

Which proved that Merlin had, again, been very aware of what had been going on around him.

"That's why I left the hospital. I knew you were in trouble," Merlin said.

Arthur rubbed his hand up and down Merlin's denim clad thigh.

"It doesn't matter. I doubt that will change the result of it."

"But the hospital board have suspended you because of it."

"Don't worry about that. I'm getting on all right," Arthur said. Merlin looked faintly dubious at that statement. Arthur was fine, or at least he could certainly keep going on a day to day basis. He missed his work, his real work helping the patients, but he could manage. Considering what he had been through and what he had done he didn't blame anyone for their reactions. He had killed two people, for good reason, and he didn't regret it; which might be why people reacted warily.

"At least you're all right," Arthur said. "I'd best do it now. I'll call my father."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Uther, however, did not take much persuading when it came to leaving Merlin alone for a few days. Although, it couldn't be forever. Merlin fidgeted uncomfortably while Gwaine set up the tape recorder they had brought. Uther had no intention of forcing Merlin to come to the police station, instead he had gone to the hospital.

"Are you all right Merlin?" Uther asked gently.

Merlin jumped in the chair as Uther addressed him and he looked around nervously, watching Gwaine intently and then glancing back at Uther and then to Morgana sitting next to him, a closed file on the desk in front of her. Merlin glanced about again and then spoke and Uther didn't feel any surprise at what Merlin asked.

"Can Arthur sit with me?"

Merlin looked around, staring in the direction of the door of the consultation room, as if he could make Arthur appear by simply saying his name.

"Of course," Uther said. He had been surprised that Merlin hadn't asked before now, but he saw no reason to refuse. "Gwaine, can you fetch him?"

"Sure, this is working now," he said straightening the tape recorder up before he disappeared out of the door. Arthur had clearly been waiting in close proximity as within a minute he entered the room closing the door behind him.

"Is everything all right?" Arthur asked.

"Yes, Merlin just requested you to sit with him," Uther said setting the tape recorder playing as Arthur gathered up the chair from the far side of the room bringing it over to sit next to Merlin. While Arthur did that Uther carried on talking for the benefit of the tape recorder.

"Interview with Merlin Emrys. Conducting the interview DCI Uther Pendragon, also present DS Morgana Gorlois and Dr Arthur Pendragon as support for Mr Emrys. Arthur can you not speak during the interview."

"Okay," Arthur said glancing at Merlin, whose eyes rolled in his head. Reaching out Arthur slid his hand between Merlin's, which were clenched together. For a brief moment Merlin's grip relaxed to allow Arthur's hand in, then his grip tightened again.

"Okay, Merlin I am going to keep this fairly short, most of the evidence speaks for itself, I only need you to confirm some details, okay?"

Merlin blinked, staring across the table at Uther with wide eyes. Very slowly he nodded, staring at Uther with wide startled eyes. Arthur watched his father, realising that the older man carefully registered Merlin's behaviour and would act accordingly. Arthur knew his father had no intention of upsetting Merlin and also wondered, at the same time, how empathic his father might actually be. Arthur received a curt glance from his father before Uther turned his attention back to Merlin, which disconcerted Arthur to say the least.

"Okay, Merlin, I want you to look at some pictures, and I just need you to confirm that you recognise them and could tell me how you know them."

"Right," Merlin said, his hands tensing tightly on Arthur's.

With a curt nod Uther indicated to Morgana and she opened the file and produced a picture. Arthur didn't let his face change as he stared at the bald, flabby faced man. He felt Merlin rear back, and the tight grip on his hand loosened as Merlin frowned in confusion.

"I don't know him."

"That's all right Merlin," Uther said and Morgana whipped the photograph away. "For the record that was a photograph of PC Sherman during an identification line up. I apologise Merlin, but I wanted a control reaction before we start."

"Okay," Merlin said.

Since he wasn't allowed to talk Arthur settled for kicking his father on the shin. Uther looked at him sharply and Arthur mouthed the word 'dad' with a reproaching expression.

"Dr Pendragon I know I advised you not to talk but if you have something to say regarding Merlin's welfare then you are welcome to comment."

"As I am not his psychiatrist anymore that is technically a difficult area, however as his friend and someone who has watched you work for my entire life I do find that somewhat strange. Merlin is not a suspect so why do you feel the need to try and catch him out?"

"I'm not, however, some people may argue that during his confinement that perhaps he was not aware of his surroundings due to his catatonic state."

"I was not catatonic when I was kidnapped," Merlin murmured.

"Very well, for the record I am showing photograph A341 to Mr Emrys."

Merlin peered forward, his hands tensing again. Arthur gritted his teeth as Merlin's nails dug into his skin. He concentrated on Merlin, seeing him swallow heavily, his eyes widening and losing focus for a moment before they realigned on the photograph of Cenred. Merlin slowly nodded, as if to himself, just for a moment, before he spoke.

"I know him. He came into the shop where I worked, regularly. Then I saw him on the way home on the night I was kidnapped, he stood by a van and had the hood open, as if he had broken down. He asked me for help and I stopped to talk to him and the next moment I remember being grabbed and..." Merlin stumbled to a halt and then after a shuddering breath found his voice again. "... I couldn't breath and it went dark and when I woke up..."

Merlin halted again and Uther put his fingertips on the edge of the photograph to ease it away from the centre of the table. Morgana slipped it back into the file and pushed another photograph out.

"That's good, thank you Merlin." Uther said, he put his hand over the photograph of Morgause, covering her face, although around the edges of the shot there were curls of blonde hair that gave away her identity.

"Merlin, where were you, when you woke up," Morgana asked.

"The cellar, I could see the stove thing." Merlin sent a sidelong look at Arthur. Arthur smiled and let his hand be clenched in the vice of Merlin's fists.

"And I couldn't lift my head, I thought it was just because I felt sick but I realised there was something around my neck and it was attached to something."

One of Merlin's hands left Arthur's and rubbed around his throat.

"It was tied to something but as I turned my head a realised someone was lying on it. Jason was lying on it."

"Was he still alive Merlin?" Uther asked.

Merlin nodded. "He was unconscious. Cenred was watching. Jason had moved to try and choke me, he tried to kill me but he couldn't put enough pressure on. Cenred did the same to him and waited for him to wake up. He made me sit up and watch what he did, and he told me he would do the same to me."

Once he had started talking Merlin couldn't seem to stop. No one else here had seen it. Cenred had enjoyed explaining it, and Uther had heard every second of it from his lips. However, this time he listened far more intently. Merlin had survived the ordeal, he had suffered it and he, quite clearly, didn't enjoy what he was saying, but something inside him appeared to feel the obligation to say it.

"I closed my eyes. If I didn't watch then he wouldn't... I don't know what I thought. We couldn't stop him, and he told me he would do the same to me. I tried not to watch but, then he got mad, because I wouldn't look. He burnt Jason, he lit the stove and heated a poker and he really started to hurt him."

Merlin whimpered and stopped, gasping for breath. Uther nearly reached for the tape recorder to shut it off and pause the interview but as he met Arthur's gaze he glared at his father, ordering him not to stop. Arthur knew when Merlin really reached that point.

"He couldn't stop screaming and Cenred said that if I didn't watch he'd carry on, so I watched. I watched what he did, and I just sat there, and waited, because that was what he was doing to do to me. It was what he did do to me."

Merlin gasped through the sentences, choking to a halt.

"Thank you Merlin," Uther said, ending that section of the conversation. They didn't need to hear any more. Uther lifted his hand off the photograph and pushed the shot of Morgause, taken from the pictures that Vivian had found during their hunt for Merlin and Arthur.

"Can you identify this woman?"

Merlin nodded, and then glanced at the tape recorder, seeming to remember that it was there.

"Yes, I didn't know her name until recently but I'd seen her before."

"And where was this?"

"Where I was held, by Cenred."

"Did you see her often?" Morgana asked.

"No," Merlin said, shaking his head. "Just a handful of times, but she was there more than that. I knew she was."

"How did you know?" Uther asked.

"There was a sense of something. Cenred seemed different." Merlin paused, biting down on his lower lip and drawing it into his mouth as he thought. His hands tightened again and he inclined towards Arthur slightly.

"He seemed more intense. As if there was greater purpose to what he did... to us..."

Merlin tailed off as there was a gentle tap on the door and Gwaine popped his head through.

"Sorry Sir, Bayard's here."

Uther nodded and Gwaine disappeared. Arthur watched his father reach out to stop the tape recorder.

"Interview suspended at," Uther looked at his watch. "Two fourteen pm. Excuse me a moment." HoHHH

The moment Uther left the room Merlin turned to Arthur.

"What's going on?" he hissed. His hands remained tight on Arthur's and Arthur put his other hand on one of Merlin's forearms.

"Bayard is a DCS from another station, he was present at my interview, he might just want to ask you something."

Merlin nodded, looking even more wide eyed as Uther returned with Bayard in tow and at a curt nod Morgana stood up and walked out. Uther sat back down with Bayard by his side. Merlin eyed them both nervously and both policemen regarded him sympathetically.

"Merlin, this is DCS Bayard. He's been involved in the investigation when you and Arthur were kidnapped together. So there are a few things you need to confirm for us regarding that."

"Okay," Merlin said.

The two officers glanced at each other and then Uther reached over to turn the tape recorder on.

"Interview resumed at two nineteen pm, DS Gorlois replaced by DCS Bayard. Merlin has confirmed the identities of his two captors."

"Fine," Bayard said. "Merlin, I need to ask, were you aware of the events while you and Arthur were held prisoner by Cenred and Morgause."

"Yes, I was. I was aware of everything, all the time."

Bayard frowned as he heard that, looking mildly confused but he recovered after a moment and carried on talking.

"Were you removed from here, the hospital, or did you leave on your own?"

"On my own. I went out of the fire door and went outside. Then I waited."

"For what?" Bayard asked.

Merlin frowned, looking confused at the question. "I'm not sure, I just knew to wait."

That caused Bayard to frown, and Arthur felt a mild surge of anxiety. There were things about what had happened that they would struggle to explain. It would be better if they didn't have to. Fortunately, Bayard glanced at Uther, who, with a slight shake of his head, indicated that Bayard shouldn't continue with that line of enquiry.

"And when they had you captive, you were aware of what happened?"

Merlin nodded, "Arthur got us out, he fought with Cenred, and then with Morgause, and then we left the building and walked down the road, until someone found us."

It was a very summarised version of events but Arthur knew, he could sense, neither officer had any desire to push Merlin too hard for information. If he confirmed the basic facts they would be happy to leave the situation alone. Arthur had told the story in detail, although he had carefully edited sections of it. And Cenred had happily confirmed most of the forensic evidence they found on Merlin, the corpses and the farmhouse.

"Merlin, this picture was taken a few months before you were kidnapped by Cenred, do you remember a corporate function that you worked, for a building company, Carpenters?"

Merlin frowned. "Not really, I didn't pay much attention to who ran them, I just turned up at the right place and handed out drinks and nibbles."

"This one was at the Station Hotel, in June of last year."

Merlin shrugged, looking up his expression veered onto embarrassment. "I did a lot of them there. The catering company had a contract at that hotel, most of the functions were there. I don't remember her, at any of them."

Bayard nodded and then looked at Uther.

"I don't really have any further questions." He turned to address Merlin. "Most of the facts are not really in contention. We know what happened to you, Cenred confessed to that and Arthur gave a concise version of the second kidnapping."

Merlin nodded slowly, glancing around at the three people with him, his hands still clenched on Arthur's.

"Okay."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"That's not really an answer Merlin," Nimueh said. "For the last five days all you have said is okay when I ask you how you are."

"But I am okay," Merlin said. "I'm moving around, I'm here, I'm okay."

He watched her nod and looked down at her pad, flipping through pages, of which were clearly the previous notes she had made.

"So I'll accept that for a moment. Were you okay when you were catatonic. Did you feel okay, being like that?"

"You don't think it was," Merlin said.

"Not by basic standards, but that wasn't what I asked. Did that feel right for you, at the time?"

"I guess." Merlin turned and looked out of the window. There were only a few leaves now clinging to the trees. Autumn had almost passed by without him even realising. Nimueh paused, she was getting nowhere with Merlin, unless of course she overcame one obstacle, which meant being very direct.

"Merlin I know you don't actually want to talk to me. You would much prefer that Arthur was your psychiatrist."

"Why won't the hospital reinstate him?"

"When they do, and I don't doubt that they will, given enough time and patience, considering Arthur is the best of us by far, I know him well enough to know that he wouldn't take you as a patient now."

"Why not?" Merlin asked in concern. Nimueh gave him a steady look.

"Because, and he will be the first to admit it, he is far too emotionally involved now. It's an effect of what happened, and what might happen beyond that. He's undergoing treatment now as well, with Gaius. It would not be professional to now treat you. And he asked me to take your case."

"Oh," Merlin said, sounding slightly irritated. "He didn't tell me."

"Again he probably feels even that wouldn't be professional. He is doing what he thinks is best for you."

"Surely I should be the judge of that."

Nimueh smiled at him. "Perhaps, but most people around you now are quite in the habit of deciding things for you."

Merlin pouted, his head tilting to one side. Nimueh watched carefully, seeing a clearer gesture that Merlin had performed when catatonic. It seemed to her to be an indication that he was actually listening to what was being said.

Nimueh knew instinctively that Merlin didn't want to talk about what happened. At least not yet. So instead, Nimueh diverted them towards another subject.

"You must be looking forward to going home."

Merlin frowned, "home?"

She listened to the tone of his voice, hearing the nervous apprehension in it.

"Yes, I would, all things considered, be prepared to recommend you move to an outpatient status. Don't you want to go home?"

Merlin screwed up his face and rubbed his left shin with his hand, his fingers eventually clenching on the material of his jeans, his entire figure slowly hunching up and curling in on itself.

"I hadn't thought about it."

"There is perhaps no reason to rush," Nimueh said. "But obviously in some way things are improving for you. At some point you will have to get out into the world. Quite frankly, I think perhaps considering it sooner rather than later might be a good idea."

"I don't know. I'm used to it here."

"That is what I mean. Maybe thinking about it, perhaps short spaces of time out, just to get used to it," she suggested and then smirked wryly. "I know I hate mentioning it before December, but I'll make an exception this time. For you probably Christmas is only a few weeks away. Perhaps that might be a good time to consider it."

Merlin released the grip he had on his jeans and smoothed the material. He bit down on his lip and considered the idea of leaving the safe haven the hospital provided as Nimueh added.

"No doubt your mother will want that."


	3. Chapter 3

As Hunith did, and as so many others did, Merlin allowed his good manners to prevail. Now he didn't feel entirely sure of the decision.

Boxing Day heralded another flurry of snow and Merlin sat on the sofa, wrapped in an old woollen throw that his mother had knitted, watching harmless Christmas television that drifted over his conscious thoughts without really registering.

Coming home had been settling and disconcerting in equal measures. The house looked very much the same, but other things told him that time had moved on. The hallway was redecorated, the garden had plants and shrubs in that he didn't recognise. His own room appeared the same but Hunith had painted the woodwork, re-varnished some furniture and bought him a new cover for his bed. Those subtle changes told him that although that nothing looked greatly different, time had passed without him there, with him suffering at Cenred's hands.

It was the same with people. For Christmas they had done the same things, almost. Merlin had arrived home a few days before Christmas Day to find the tree ready to decorate, several presents wrapped and ready and the fridge and freezer bulging with the food and treats they usually had. Merlin had felt horrified when he had found two of the presents which Hunith had bought for herself.

"I haven't been able to get you anything," he had almost wailed. His horror was so deep he had almost overcome his fear of going into town and facing the crowd to find her something, but so baffled by it he had docilely settled when she had taken him into her arms and held him tightly.

"You're here, and that is all the present I need."

Merlin realised it was, she had him back. It had been January when he had been kidnapped by Cenred, and she had faced the idea that she might not see him again and that he might be lost to her even if he was alive; if he didn't rouse himself from his stupor.

Baffled and almost listless he had gone through the ritual of decorating the tree, helping set up the lights outside but slowly Merlin started to relax.

On Christmas Eve they had gone to Will's, as all the neighbours did every year. When they had been children he and Will had huddled under the buffet table drinking lemonade and diving out to grab at the sausage rolls and sandwiches that Will's mother laid out. People brought their own contributions, Hunith's cheese and onion flans making their usual appearance. Merlin had looked around, listening to conversations but never being a part of them.

People talked about the year and what had happened. Merlin knew nothing of current affairs, so he couldn't contribute. He could listen as the Grey's talked about their sixteen year old cat, Pilchard, having a dental and their worry of him having to have anaesthetic, and the Ballard's talk about their daughter, Jean, getting on with her PHD. But then, even on the fringes, in a pause, people looked to him, as they expected someone else to talk, and Merlin knew he had nothing to say. People tried to be tactful, which meant they carefully retreated away from him.

He had almost wished that someone asked him what it had been like, locked away in his own mind. That would perhaps break the awkward feeling, and stop the staring that ranged between curious and sympathetic. Perhaps Merlin himself should have had the courage to say something about it, to break through that barrier. Maybe he shouldn't have even bothered to try and force his way through the fog in his mind that had left him locked away in his own thoughts, unable to knit anything together as the pain and fear and uncertainty had trapped him. He had retreated, the thing that had become his only defence, and because of it, he could do nothing for Toby, the boy who had been dead, chained to him, when the police had found them.

Merlin's head jerked up sharply as the front door knocker rapped three times. He clenched his hands around the material of the throw, stretching the wool a little as he did so. There fell a short pause and Merlin's eyes roved upwards to the ceiling. Hunith was upstairs but what she shouted down threw him momentarily.

"Merlin, get the door please. It's for you."

Pushing aside the cover Merlin presumed that it was Will, perhaps coming over because of the awkward scenes on Christmas Eve. Will had looked almost as out of place as Merlin felt. Merlin wondered what to say, or even what to do, as he opened the inner door and the person on the step, hearing the sound, turned. Merlin blinked and watched as they smiled brightly at him.

Arthur had been watching a group of children playing in the snow, yelping and giggling as they did so. But he turned as he heard the click of the door. Merlin looked at Arthur's broad shoulders, clad in the dark grey duffle coat that Merlin had seen over the last few weeks. Around Arthur's neck curled a red scarf which Merlin hadn't seen before. One of his own hands went to the scrap of blue material around his own neck, accompanying the red jumper his mother had bought him for Christmas.

"Hi," Arthur said as Merlin unlocked and opened the outer porch door. "Your mother buying you nice, warm and red clothes as well?"

Merlin's free hand pressed against his stomach, touching the soft material of the jumper.

"Yeah, something like that."

Arthur's brow wrinkled as he looked at Merlin, then his gaze moved upwards as Hunith walked down the stairs.

"Merlin, don't leave Arthur stood out there in the cold, let him in. I won't offer you a drink as you are driving; coffee instead?"

"Thank you," Arthur replied. Merlin backed up and let Arthur though the porch into the hallway. Merlin almost dived forward until he realised Arthur blocked his way. "What's the matter, Merlin?"

"I need to lock the door."

Merlin waved a hand at the porch door, made of wood and glass. Arthur reached behind him and turned the key in the lock. Seeing him relax Arthur realised that simple gesture made Merlin feel better. Arthur then pushed the inner door closed, hearing the Yale lock click firmly. Then he held out the large silvery box he held in his hands.

"Oh, this is for you. Merry Christmas."

Merlin blinked, holding out both hands instinctively to take the present, a box wrapped up neatly with thick, impressive feeling, silver wrapping paper. For his and Hunith's own presents there had been thin paper with bright, garish pictures of snowmen and reindeer.

"Thank you," Merlin said, goggling and cringing at the same time. "I didn't get you anything."

"Doesn't matter," Arthur said, pulling at his gloves to stuff them in his coat pockets and then shrugging his coat off. He pulled the scarf from around his neck and hung all of it on one of the hooks by the door. "It was an 'I saw it and thought of you' type of present."

"Oohh," Merlin murmured looking down at the box in his hands. Despite the size it felt quite light in contrast, although one end felt a tad heavier than the other.

"Arthur, you can make yourself comfortable in the living room!" Hunith called from the kitchen. Merlin turned to look in the direction of the kitchen door and then glanced back at Arthur, his face flushing slightly as he realised they still stood in the hallway.

"Sorry," Merlin said shuffling in the direction of the living room. "I'm not used to... things."

Arthur said nothing, following behind Merlin, watching as he sat down and put the present down on the coffee table in front of him. Arthur perched on the arm of the sofa and watched Merlin as he carefully eased the tape up away from the paper, being careful not to tear it, spreading it out to reveal what lay underneath. Merlin stared at the innocuous white box. He lifted it as he frowned, almost expecting the box to explain itself. The only thing that hinted anything was the sticker on the side that said 'fragile' with an arrow to indicate which was up the box needed to be.

It seemed slightly self-explanatory to Merlin as the box lid, carefully taped down had been kept upright when Arthur had wrapped it. Merlin peeled up the tape and eased his fingers in the gap to ease the top up, tearing the cardboard a little.

Arthur watched with some anticipation. Especially as Merlin lifted the lid and peeled away the soft tissue paper that protected the present. Merlin gasped as he lifted it, easing the paper away from the delicate ornament. He stared up at Arthur with wonder, his blue eyes animated with awe and delight.

"It's… it's… well, great!" Merlin managed to stammer turning his attention back to the ornament in his hands. A grey plinth, looking like a boulder had been inlaid with what looked like a crystal ball. Sitting on that, his claws embedded in the ball to keep him steady perched a light grey dragon, with red tinges to the delicately intricate scales. The beast's wings were spread, and the neck arched, the head tilted and jaws open to give an expression of aggression. The dragon's eyes glittered jet black, shining in the weak sunlight struggling it's way through the net curtains.

Merlin cradled it carefully in both hands, turning it one way and another to get a close look at it. His eyes were wide, shining with delight. Arthur smiled as he watched Merlin's reaction.

"As soon as I saw them I knew I had to buy one for you," Arthur said. He kept his eyes on Merlin's face taking in the animation in his eyes and expression. Merlin very carefully put the ornament down on the coffee table. He turned it one way and then the other on the table his eyes taking in every detail, before he turned his gaze to Arthur.

"It must have been expensive."

Arthur felt himself frown slightly, more in confusion than anger. "Not really."

It did occur to him that his idea of expensive probably differed from Merlin's. Arthur didn't think it mattered, he had, on seeing the dragon ornaments, been gripped by the powerful urge to buy one for Merlin. Now it seemed most definitely worth it as he watched the delight on Merlin's face. He probably would have bought one if Merlin was still catatonic, so he could have something that he liked.

Merlin bit down on his lip, looking worried.

"I didn't even think to get you anything," he confessed. Arthur grinned.

"It doesn't matter. I wasn't even thinking about it until I figured that it was far too appropriate to ignore."

"Look mum!" Merlin said proudly as Hunith appeared with two coffee mugs on a tray, with a plate of mince pies. He held up the ornament. Hunith smiled.

"Goodness! That's lovely. I didn't even think to buy you anything," she added to Arthur. "I know you don't like chocolates, so I brought in some pies instead. Sit on the chair properly."

With a rueful smile Arthur stopped perching on the sofa arm and slid into his seat, taking his coffee off Hunith. Merlin quite reluctantly put down the dragon to take his coffee. He sipped at it carefully while watching Hunith put the plate of pies down on the table and then with a smile she carefully retreated. She glanced at Merlin momentarily, and reached out to pet his thick dark hair. Merlin smiled, a little tentatively, Arthur thought, and then Hunith left them to it.

Merlin turned his attention back to Arthur, smiling shyly before looking back at the dragon.

"I feel bad now," Merlin said. Arthur shifted on the sofa, so he could rest his back against the arm and look at Merlin, perched at the other end, properly.

"Why?"

"Well, I didn't think to get you anything."

"I could say the same about me buying something for you. I only did so because it was just so appropriate. Plus it gave me an excuse to visit you."

"Why would you need an excuse?" Merlin frowned slightly. Arthur shrugged, feeling his face flush slightly.

"You were busy going home, and I presumed you'd be spending time with your mum, and Will and everyone here. I didn't want to interfere with that."

"Would you have visited if you hadn't bought me a present?" Merlin asked.

"Probably, but I might have waited a little longer. It seemed important to let you settle in."

Arthur raised his eyebrows as Merlin scowled, turning his gaze back to the dragon, reaching out to run his fingertips over the ornament. Arthur watched Merlin carefully played over the intricacy of the design, almost as if he was trying to memorize each tiny particle.

"I guess," Merlin said.

"Did you not want that?" Arthur asked taking a sip of coffee. He put his cup down and picked up a mince pie and bit into it. Crumbs of pastry fell away, dropping down onto his jumper, and some clung to his lips. Merlin smirked as he looked at him. Most of the time, to outsiders, Arthur seemed so controlled and sophisticated. If you got a little further under the surface it was easy to see that was not the case.

"I don't know. I don't know what I want," Merlin said, with some despair. Arthur watched him with sympathy, while also licking the crumbs off his lips.

"There is probably no need to want anything," Arthur mused. "Just get used to what's around you again. Everyone is going to understand that it has been difficult for you, this entire year."

"I know that," Merlin said eyes staying firmly fixed on the dragon, in the same sort of way that they used to lock on Kilgharrah, when Merlin needed it. "I'm not sure if it's pity or sympathy I'm getting, if that. If I'd just been in an accident or been seriously ill then people would talk to me, probably ask me questions about it. That would be easy. There is no remit for talking to someone who went catatonic after being kidnapped by a lunatic."

"No there isn't, unless you are talking to a psychiatrist of course," Arthur said reaching for his coffee. Merlin lifted his gaze from the dragon to Arthur.

"What about you? Are you talking about it?"

Arthur gave a little wince and exhaled. "Coffee's hot."

"Yeah, my mum usually makes it like that, it's sort of the norm for coffee I believe," Merlin said his lips quirking with a smile.

Arthur smiled back. "Okay, and yes I am. I have Gaius, you have Nimueh. She can't be all that bad. She isn't that bad."

Merlin shook his head, looking back at the dragon and again letting his fingertips run over the ornament.

"She's not you though, is she?"

"No, but there is me as well. I can't be your doctor anymore, Merlin. But I can still be here."

Arthur put his mug down and reached out to take Merlin's nearest hand, lifting it away from the ornament to hold it loosely. By the tension in his hand Arthur got the feeling Merlin wanted him to cling harder than that. Merlin stared down at Arthur's hand, encasing his before slowly looking up.

"You haven't been. I used to see you every day."

"I'd have assumed that you might have got sick of me."

"No," Merlin said.

"And I thought you were settling in at home."

It was what Arthur had truly assumed about the situation. Merlin needed time to adjust, and Arthur didn't want to crowd him while he was doing it. As he watched the conflicting emotions crash across Merlin's face he realised that was not the case. He considered the situation, Merlin had calmed down the moment he had come into contact with Arthur, the day he had roused from his state. And Arthur remembered, he had wanted to spend more time with Merlin, quite specifically, than any of his other patients. They all got his time and he would always be on hand when they needed him, any future ones - if he got them - would be the recipient of the same consideration. But Merlin had somehow got more.

Thinking about what Morgause had said, Arthur thought that he might have been influenced by Merlin without even realising it. In his own way Merlin had displayed his need.

Those thoughts passed through Arthur's head in the space of seconds, his eyes locked with Merlin's. Then they both jumped, their hands sliding apart, as Hunith opened the door and wandered in. She stared at both of them in surprise, looking from Merlin to Arthur, both of whom looked at her, but still, their eyes strayed to each other.

"I just came in to see if you wanted any more coffee," she said.

"No, we're fine. I've hardly started this one," Arthur said, taking another sip, a little too enthusiastically, so the liquid burnt his mouth as he swallowed.

Hunith looked at him and then turned to Merlin.

"I need to nip over the road and take Mary the cake I promised. I'll do it now. I've set the coffee machine up if you want any more. You'll be all right, won't you Merlin."

"I'm fine mum," Merlin announced, his voice straining with tension. Hunith looked uncertain, but her eyes drifted briefly to Arthur and he nodded, a little confused, but he had time to spend with Merlin. And that appeared to be what Merlin needed. Both Merlin and Hunith gave off those signals loud and clear, Arthur didn't need to be empathic to know that.

"I won't be long," she said.

Neither man spoke as she went out and headed into the kitchen. There were sounds from in there and then the unmistakeable sound of the back door closing, with the slight squeak that it always made as it had to be yanked shut the last few inches.

"You don't have to stay if you don't want to," Merlin said.

"Why wouldn't I want to?" Arthur said. "I'm sorry if you thought I was avoiding you, or something, but since you were going home I just guessed you would want to spend time with your mum, especially over Christmas."

Merlin looked at the dragon again, with a shrug, and a slight wince.

"Christmas not too good?" Arthur asked.

"The same, well, we never do much, just stay in. But we go to the neighbours, Will's parents have a party every Christmas Eve and it was just... no one knew what the hell to say to me."

"So they didn't say anything," Arthur said.

"No one ignored me, but I can't talk about what's gone on, because I didn't really kind of see any of it. I've lost an entire year of my life."

Arthur didn't say anything, instead he listened intently. He decided that perhaps he knew better than most people just how Merlin felt. Although his involvement had been brief, he had been there, trapped with the two people that had done this to Merlin.

"And everything is different, and somehow it feels like people are trying to pretend it's just the same," Merlin said.

Arthur sipped at his coffee again. It was cooler now, and easier to drink. Reaching out he took another mince pie, although he didn't bite into it until he said.

"You mean your mum."

Arthur almost choked on a bit of pastry as Merlin looked up and glared at him, anger flickering across his face. Reaching for his coffee again Arthur washed down the troublesome bit of pie and as he did so Merlin said, somewhat sharply.

"What do you mean by that?!"

"Sorry, I am actually sounding like a psychiatrist there. But I'll carry on since I've started. How many people have you really interacted with. Your mum, Will, the neighbours? By the sound of it, with them not knowing what to do or say. I don't think they count in this. What about Will?"

Merlin blinked, still looking furious. He turned his gaze away from Arthur and looked at the dragon again. Merlin suddenly, but carefully, picked it up.

"I'm going to put this in my room," he announced as he stood up, picking the dragon up carefully. Despite his anger Merlin had no desire to damage the gift he had been given. Instead he stalked away with it, carefully carrying it upstairs.

For a moment Arthur was stunned by the sudden reaction. He got up and followed Merlin as he stomped up the stairs and he rushed through the door just to the left at the top of the stairs. Arthur took a breath before he entered and as he did so he watched Merlin crouched down by a chest of drawers, carefully positioning the new dragon next to Kilgharrah. Arthur noted the slight dip of one of the toy's wings.

"I see Gwaine's fix-it is still holding."

Merlin glanced at him briefly, still glowering.

"He did a good job."

"Are you going to give that one a name?"

"I haven't though of it yet," Merlin said with some petulance.

Arthur sighed, glanced down at his feet for a moment and then looked up.

"Your mum isn't pretending that nothing has changed. More than likely she is just damn glad she gets to do it again."

"What?" Merlin asked, looking less irritated and more confused. Arthur took a slow step forward.

"I am going to be the last person to dismiss any of what happened to you, and it affected you, there is no way it can't, it was an ordeal and no one can argue that fact. But don't think that, in their own ways, that it wasn't an ordeal for everyone else. For months your mother sat there wondering where you were, or what might be happening to you and each day she possibly wondered if that would be the day when my father would knock on the door and tell her that they had found your body.

"Then when she knew that you were alive you were so lost in yourself that there was no guarantee that you would ever come out of it. She had to cope with that, and all she wants to do now is have you here, and she feels so relieved that she does she just wants to do the things that you always did, just to probably celebrate the fact that she can."

Merlin said nothing, he had gone back to staring at the dragons in front of him.

"Your mother is changed by this as well. She's not just trying to ignore it. How many other occasions did she miss? Your birthday for one, and I presume maybe her own."

"Athusia."

"Sorry?" Arthur asked.

"I'm going to name her Athusia. The dragon." Merlin turned and looked up at Arthur and Arthur knew something of an apology when he heard it.

"Come on," Arthur said.

"Where?"

"Out. Outside."

"Where?" Merlin demanded again, then added. "Why?"

"Because you need to get out and about, out of the house. Let's go for a walk."

"Where?"

"Around, somewhere... there's a park round the corner. Come on."

"What about my mum?"

"We'll leave her a note," Arthur said. "Where's your coat? You'll have to wrap up warm. Merlin, come on. Trust me."

Much to his chagrin, Merlin did. He wouldn't ever not.


	4. Chapter 4

Hunith received the text just before they left the house. Leaving a written note was proving awkward so Arthur commandeered Merlin's phone and sent the text to Hunith sat in the house opposite and a few doors down. Mary, the old lady missed nothing as she watched Hunith frown while she looked at her phone, said.

"Problem with your Merlin?"

"No, he's fine. Arthur is taking him for a walk."

"Arthur?"

Hunith looked up and smiled at Mary's daughter Alison.

"Merlin's psychiatrist, at least he was. He's nice though."

Hunith got up and went to the window. She could see her front door clearly enough and she watched at Arthur brought Merlin out of the door, locked it carefully and then led a tense Merlin down the steps. There was a good deal of encouragement on Arthur's part and she watched Merlin look around warily as he reached the pavement, his eyes drifting to the house where she was. Lifting her hand she moved the net curtain out of the way and waved at Merlin and he tentatively returned it.

"That's Arthur then?" Mary asked peering out of the window. "Now he's a pretty boy. Makes me wish I was a few decades younger."

"Mum!"

Mary turned to look at her daughter, giving a shrug.

"My eyes might not be that brilliant but I know a pretty face when I see it. Your Merlin's quite good looking as well. How is he?"

Hunith blinked. It was the first, clear direct question that had not come from someone, who was not either in the police force or worked in the medical profession.

"It will take time," Hunith said.

"At least he has that," Mary said thoughtfully lifting one wrinkled hand to examine it carefully. Hunith glanced outside again, at Arthur and Merlin walking slowly down the street before she let the net drop again.

"I'm not sure about this," Merlin said, glancing back to see the white lace now obscuring the window.

"Merlin, come on, a little walk isn't going to do you any harm. Ten minutes, and then if you want to go home we will."

He could hardly argue with Arthur's reasonable request, although he looked around furtively as they reached the corner of the road and crossing over turned left. Merlin's eyes darted around and he bumped his shoulder against Arthur's as he moved closer to him for reassurance.

"What's the matter?" Arthur asked gently reaching out to take Merlin's wrist and steady him.

"Down the road there, it happened."

Arthur looked seeing a long stretch of road, an darker area, under some thick trees appeared to be the area holding Merlin's attention. The thick canopy of trees drooped under the weight of the snow, which seemed to make the space even darker. It was the place where Cenred had efficiently snatched Merlin from, no more than a couple of minutes walk from his home. There was something very sickening about that. Merlin had paused, standing still, a nervous tension rippling through his body. Arthur wondered if that was the reason that Merlin had not gone out, for the mere fact that the event that caused his year of hell had been so close to home.

"Come on, Merlin, let's go in the park."

He took Merlin through the nearby gate, and in contrast as they took the winding pathway, the open grassy spaces in the park looked bright and cheery. To their left the expanse rose up in an incline on which people were taking full advantage of the snow. Yelping children sped down the hill in sledges, and several adults were doing the same. The flattened snow looked to have been well used, grass peeking through in places, and in some areas the snow had blended with the soil underneath causing pathways of mud to have formed. They were still suitable for sledging and several people still sped down them. Arthur watched the activity but carefully kept Merlin on the pathway, letting him simply view it from a distance. One child whose sledge scooted close to them merely smiled vaguely in their direction as he rolled off into the snow and scrabbling up pulled his sledge back towards the hill for another go.

"I haven't done that for years," Arthur said. "Not that I am intending to have a go now. What about you?"

"Me and Will used to, we did a couple of years ago. It didn't snow last year," Merlin said.

Arthur frowned, then relaxed. It had actually snowed, but during February, when Merlin had been locked away in the basement of Cenred's hideaway. Arthur saw no point in telling Merlin that. Instead he turned and keeping Merlin's hand in his led him along the pathway away from the noise and instead went down towards the playground that, at that moment, was less used. No one wanted to use the snow covered slide and swings. Arthur looked around, imagining Merlin playing on them as a child.

"Have you always lived here?" Arthur suddenly asked.

Merlin blinked and looked at him. "Yes. The house was the only thing my father ever gave us."

"Hunith told me he left when she was pregnant."

"I don't even know if he's alive, if he even knows about me," Merlin said. "Maybe he did, when he left he arranged for my mother to be given the keys and there it was, a house."

"She never thought of moving."

"It's expensive," Merlin said. "And it's easy enough to change bits when you get bored of it. Plus, it's big enough for us."

Arthur shrugged. "I guess."

"Is there something wrong with living in the same place your whole life?"

"No," Arthur said. "Sounds kind of nice. We moved a few times, although when my parents split up neither of them thought to do it anymore."

"Are they getting on still?"

"Mutually bonded by their concern over me. After over a decade of not speaking to each other they now keep having furtive conversations about me."

"They might get back together."

Arthur glanced at Merlin, raising his eyebrows. "I can't honestly say I was ever traumatized by the divorce, or their subsequent behaviour but that would. They're driving me nuts! I came to see you today for some sanity."

Merlin smiled. "I'm not sure I can offer that."

"I don't think you are insane, crazy or loopy or any other adjective like that. You've been deeply affected by a traumatic event and you're just... it's not an easy thing to get over. But you're not doing bad."

They paused walking. Merlin looked around, turning slightly as he lifted his gaze to stare at the canopy of a large weeping willow. The snow added to the branches, and it didn't darken the area but left it in gentle focus.

"I'm not sure about that," he said facing Arthur. They were of such a similar height that they could easily let their eyes meet. In the background they could hear the muted sounds of the people sledging. Arthur smiled at him, which cause Merlin to return it tentatively, and Arthur felt the simmering tension in Merlin's arm ease just a fraction. For a moment neither of them spoke, then Arthur seized by some sudden impulse he couldn't fathom, or at least when he analyzed it later he couldn't, leant forward and gently pressed his lips onto Merlin's.

The touch was light, and for a moment Merlin leant into the pressure. Arthur recoiled as seconds after that Merlin tensed, his entire body going rigid. Arthur stepped back, horror flooding his senses as he realised what he might have caused in Merlin, only to have Merlin's hands latch tightly onto the thick material of his coat on his shoulders and he moved back into Arthur's personal space.

"I'm sorry Merlin. I didn't..." Arthur paused. Merlin hung on, dragging on Arthur's coat to keep him still, so he could stay as close as possible.

"It's not that. It's not," Merlin said, knowing exactly what Arthur thought. It wasn't Cenred, it was nothing to do with him. He knew what Arthur assumed. Arthur blinked as Merlin spoke, then Arthur did something that hadn't really occurred to him before, and he wasn't quite sure what he was doing. All of the times that anything had happened it had been instinctive, although Merlin had controlled some of it.

Arthur consciously relaxed, not just his body but he also tried to transmit the same thing to his mind, imagining a door opening up. Merlin's head, which had dropped down onto Arthur's left shoulder, shot up. Arthur felt the wave in his mind, it was nothing to do with him, it was Merlin, he felt a rush of panic and need from Merlin. There was also a faint flicker of understanding, of the fact that he hadn't scared Merlin by bringing up any bad memories, Merlin had just been shocked by the sudden unconscious rush of emotions from Arthur, the moment they came into contact.

"What is that?" Arthur asked out loud as he felt the flow of emotions that were not his own. Merlin's wide blue eyes stared at him, almost through him, as he felt Arthur's conscious thoughts direct themselves.

"How did you...?"

Then it was like a door shut. Arthur felt the flow abruptly cut off. Merlin still clung on, but he suddenly shut down the connection between them. So quickly that Arthur's eyes rolled in his head and his knees started to buckle. He only stayed upright as he felt Merlin pull harder on him.

"Arthur?!"

Merlin's voice sounded so panicked that Arthur resolutely straightened up, despite his reeling head and he planted his feet to stay steady. Arthur closed his eyes and then opened them again, slowly, his vision blurring for a moment before it clear, and he met Merlin's blue eyes again. He didn't look exactly angry, but there was something in Merlin's face that told Arthur he wasn't happy.

"How do you do that?" Arthur asked.

"I just do. You know that," Merlin snapped back.

"I know there was something. You and Morgause."

He watched the outer corners of Merlin's eyes twitch at her name, but Arthur realised he couldn't avoid saying it, not if he wanted to have this conversation. It had not, until now, been mentioned. Arthur didn't know for sure if Merlin had said anything to Nimueh, but he guessed that Merlin had more than likely kept it to himself. Arthur had done the same. He had edited it from every conversation he had been forced to have on the subject. Quite frankly he wanted to think that it had no baring on what had happened, but he didn't feel entirely sure of that.

"Something happened, I felt it Merlin. What I said to her, it's what you wanted to say."

Merlin stared at him, eyes wide, startled and fearful. Tentatively Arthur reached out to keep hold of Merlin, mostly as reassurance but part of him wanted to make sure Merlin didn't get away.

"Merlin," Arthur's voice came out, low and as reassuring as he could make it. "You need to tell me. I was there as well. And there were other times."

"Like what?" Merlin asked his voice shaky.

"Those photographers, when they broke into your room, I saw the camera swing, like something pushed it. That wasn't an accident was it, Merlin?"

"They dropped Kilgharrah! That's how he got broken!"

Arthur shifted their positions slightly, so he could take Merlin by his upper arms. Merlin still had one hand clinging to him.

"I know. We were all angry about that."

"So was I!"

"Yeah, I guessed that. But it was you."

Merlin didn't say anything, but the look on his face hinted enough. He also, in the space of seconds, managed to look incredibly tired. For a moment neither of them moved and then the sound of voices made them both jump. Looking round Arthur saw a group of people, having given up on sledging, making their way across the park. For a moment Arthur and Merlin were hidden within the trees, but they would be spotted soon enough.

"Come on, shall we walk back?"

Merlin nodded, his hand tightening on Arthur's coat as Arthur released Merlin and took his arm to turn him. They walked along, Merlin clinging to Arthur as they strolled, waiting until the group of people had passed. Although they glanced in their direction, no one in the laughing chattering group paid them too much attention. Merlin watched them warily as they passed and then paused to stare across the park.

"It looks dark."

"What does?"

"There," Merlin pointed, across the grounds Arthur could see the road where Merlin had been taken from. The branches looked even thicker from the new perspective, and Merlin stared at the scene intently.

"I don't think the tree canopy has been cut for a long while, Merlin. And the weight of the snow is making it droop."

Merlin's head snapped round to glare at Arthur. However, at that point, Arthur was on familiar ground. He stared back at Merlin levelly.

"It's not dark because of what happened. The darkness is probably the reason that Cenred chose it, but he has no influence over the shadows on that road. He only controls the ones in your mind."

Merlin blinked and turned to stare at the section of road. Arthur put a protective arm around him.

"Come on Merlin, let's take you home."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

A few days later Arthur still felt unhappy with the way that last meeting with Merlin had gone. Although their parting hadn't been totally acrimonious they hadn't quite connected, something which Arthur regretted and he thought Merlin had the same unspoken feeling on the subject.

Arthur settled down after dinner. Uther had come over again and all three of them had settled down in the lounge making idle conversation while the television rattled along in the background. As Arthur sat there his hand strayed down to his phone in his pocket, while he again toyed with the idea of suggesting that Merlin and Hunith come over for dinner tomorrow night, New Year's Eve.

Most years Arthur and Igraine had a quiet dinner and so far nothing had been said to suggest that the plan had changed. Although Arthur did presume that Uther would be present, as he had been regularly since the incident with Cenred and Morgause.

With him at such close quarters Arthur had also considered the idea of talking to his father about the situation. Uther knew about the quirks of the case, and Merlin's abilities. But considering it carefully Arthur was starting to think that it was perhaps too confidential a matter to say to a third person. That thought brought Arthur full circle back to talking to Merlin. It would have been easy if Arthur had been talking to him as a psychiatrist. Arthur could do that easily, but it occurred to him that he had never been very good at it on a personal level. Perhaps his empathic ability was, in that situation, more of a handicap than a help. He still had no more information on the subject, it was a hard subject to research. He had killed two people that might know and for some reason the third person he couldn't manage to connect with at the moment.

"Are you all right Arthur?"

Igraine cut across his thoughts and Arthur snapped back to reality. She stared at him, a mild frown on her face.

"Yes, fine, just thinking..." he paused for a moment, thinking that it was a perfect moment to bring up his idea about dinner. He faltered for a moment, and then jumped as just as his hand strayed to his phone again, it shuddered and started to ring.

It allowed Arthur to avoid his mother's scrutiny as he focussed on pulling his phone from his pocket, frowning as he looked at the unfamiliar number on the screen.

"Who is it?" Uther asked.

"Dunno." Arthur pressed the answer button. "Hello?"

For a few seconds all Arthur got was silence, and he wondered if another reporter had got hold of his number. He had, so far, been forced to change his number three times. Arthur frowned in confusion, looking at Uther to warn him something seemed strange. Uther sat forward, waiting and looking ready to commandeer the phone if he needed to.

"Hello?" Arthur demanded.

"I'm sorry to call," a breathy, familiar voice said, the tone faltering.

"Merlin? That's all right."

Arthur concentrated on the nagging feeling that had been bothering him, thinking that it was more than his own discomfort, which only worried him further.

"I just didn't recognise the number," Arthur added as Merlin stayed silent. "What's the matter? Are you all right? Where are you?"

He flung the barrage of questions out. Merlin would be bound to answer one.

"By the pub, in a phone box."

"What?"

"Shit! I haven't got enough change! Arthur!" Merlin's voice rose in panic.

"Hang up Merlin. I've got the number in my phone, I can ring you back. Okay, I'm going to call you straight back!"

Arthur almost shouted the last part as the phone went silent. Pressing buttons he called the number that Merlin had just used.

"What's going on?" Uther asked.

As Arthur put the phone back to his ear, waiting for it to ring through he glanced at Uther.

"That is what I am about to find out."

He gritted his teeth as he heard the first ring start, and it abruptly cut off as Merlin scrabbled to answer it, clanking the receiver against something if the dull thud was anything to go by.

"Arthur?"

"I'm here, Merlin. What's the matter? Is your mum all right?"

"Yes. She's away, with friends. Will came over, he was going to stay with me and he walked me into going to the pub."

Arthur could see then exactly where the scenario had gone. He stood up, looking around to locate his boots, which he remembered, he left in the hall. As he turned and went towards them Merlin carried on talking.

"I can't find him. They were having a disco and it's really crowded and I got lost and I couldn't..."

"Merlin." Arthur cut across the panicked voice as he picked up his boots and carried them back to the lounge, so he could sit down to put them on. "Which pub? I'm going to come and get you."

"The Hog's Head, the big one on the roundabout just out of the town. We took the bus."

"I know it."

As Arthur went back into the lounge, plonking himself down to put on his boots, one handed, while he kept the phone to his other ear, Uther stood up.

"Merlin, stay by the phone box. I'll be no more than ten minutes."

Since he passed the pub on the way to the hospital, from both his mother's house and his own flat he knew how long he would be from either destination.

"Okay? Merlin?"

Arthur huffed as he tried to jam his foot into his boot and it stuck. He yanked at the laces in irritation, as they loosened one lace slipped through the eyelet and Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Merlin, I'll not be long."

"Okay," Merlin said sounding like a lost child. The line went dead, Merlin had hung up and probably the ten minutes Arthur had promised would feel multiplied. Arthur gritted his teeth and got his foot in, he dropped his phone to start lacing up frantically, not even bothering to rethread the lace, he just got it tied and then started on the other boot. He swore as he did so.

"Arthur!"

"Sorry, mum."

"What's going on?" Uther asked, ignoring Igraine's glare, accusing him over Arthur's language. He could probably take the blame for it, but that could wait.

"Merlin's... well... Will took him out to the pub, Merlin now can't find him and he's panicking a little. I'm going to go and get him."

Arthur stood up decisively. Uther scowled.

"What was that boy thinking?"

"That he wants his friend back, and he doesn't understand that Merlin can't... won't ever... go back to normal."

"What about Hunith?" Igraine asked.

"Out at the moment. Will came over to stay with Merlin and..." Arthur shrugged.

"Do you want me to come with you? I could drive."

"No you can't," Arthur and Igraine said simultaneously.

"You've had a drink," Arthur added, while glancing at his coffee mug, thankful that he hadn't bothered with any wine. Since the incident he had been on medication for his injures and then some sleeping tablets when needed. Alcohol hadn't seemed compatible with that and as a consequence Arthur had gone right off the idea of drinking.

"Plus I don't think Merlin wants extra people around."

"You could bring him back here, if you can't get hold of Hunith."

"Thanks, but I might... I'll see what the situation is. I might take him home and just stay; or take him back to my flat. When I know what's going on I'll ring you."

Arthur's voice when rather vague as he ran for the door. Uther and Igraine watched him flee.

"Take your coat with you!" Igraine yelled at him just as the door slammed. She turned to look at Uther.

"He'll be fine."

Igraine raised her eyebrows. "I know that."

"And I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I know the swearing is my fault. Although, I know you can swear like a navvy."

"Do you really?" Igraine asked a smirk on her lips.

"Oh I remember those words, at the christening, when you nearly lost your grip on Arthur and almost dropped him into the font."

Igraine smiled at the memory, then looked at her ex-husband archly.

"I presume I was right to keep the towels out in the guest room. And while you're here, and have my undivided attention, you can tell me what you haven't about what is going on with my son."


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur watched the little digital clock on his dashboard. He didn't want to let Merlin down. It was nine minutes when he pulled into the car park of The Hog's Head. Despite the sounds coming from the pub the car park looked fairly empty, but most likely people hadn't wanted to drive and had either walked or taken the bus. Arthur parked up by the grass verge that bordered onto the pavement and also lay close to the phone box that he presumed Merlin had used, and that was, at that moment, empty.

Getting out of the car he looked around.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked, to the empty air. He felt a shiver of panic as he stepped sideways and looked around. The sounds of music and conversation drifted from the pub, the noise almost faint; it contrasted with the still air around him in the car park. Arthur shut the door and locked his car, stepping forward to look around. Merlin might have gone back into the pub, but Arthur didn't think that was too likely, unless of course Will had come out and located him. Pulling his phone from his pocket, Arthur checked it. Merlin hadn't tried to contact him a second time.

Stepping over to the phone box Arthur looked around, grimacing as he saw the fresh vomit that trailed down one of the lower panels.

"Merlin?" Arthur raised his voice and tensed as something moved in the darkness near a cluster of bushes. The tall, slim shadow separated itself from the foliage and walked towards him. Arthur stepped to meet him, reaching out to take Merlin's wrist, holding gently.

"Are you all right, Merlin?"

Merlin nodded, looking a little wild around the eyes but as Arthur met his gaze he saw the reassurance he brought to Merlin.

"I did stay by the phone but then there was this group of people from the pub and they... and one was sick and I didn't want to go back."

"That's all right. I just needed you to stay close so I could find you. You're okay now."

Merlin shuffled closer and by sheer instinct Arthur reached out and gently pulled Merlin into a tight hug. In response Merlin huffed, leaning into Arthur and wrapping his arms tightly around his waist. Merlin's head dropped onto Arthur's shoulder. Arthur rubbed his hand up and down Merlin's back.

"Okay, it's okay. Let's get you sorted. Where's your mum then?"

"Away, for the night. She has some friends and they invited her over. Since Will promised to come over I told her she should go. I don't want to ruin it for her."

"You won't, we'll ring her and tell her that you're with me. She's coming back tomorrow then?"

Merlin nodded. "She made friends with them... when I was... you know... they're like a support group. They did ask me but I didn't want to and..."

"Merlin, let's get you into the car," Arthur turned, keeping on arm around Merlin to guide him and glancing round he saw the pair of police officers who were walking towards them. Merlin tensed but Arthur paused and waited, realising they were heading over to speak to them. As Merlin sent a panicked glance at him Arthur smiled reassuringly.

"They're just passing through, don't worry."

"Is everything all right?" One of the policemen asked, then as he moved further forward he frowned, assessing Arthur. "Dr Pendragon."

Arthur didn't feel surprised that he was known, but he also watched the two men look at Merlin, and flickers of recognition sparked. The man-power put into the hunt for the missing boys had been huge, so it was likely that most police officers could identify Merlin.

"It's fine, I came to pick up Merlin."

"Oh, yes, of course," the officer said, looking confused but easily accepting of what Arthur said.

"Merlin!"

Will's voice echoed around the car park. Arthur saw him running out of the door and across the tarmac. Will slowed as he saw Arthur and the two policemen and Arthur saw the anger and confusion on his face. Merlin looked up, but bumped closer to Arthur.

"Sorry, I couldn't find you, and I came outside and saw the phone box. I needed Arthur."

"I was only gone a minute; I just saw Mithian and..." Will tailed off, glowering at Arthur.

"Merlin, you go get in the car, okay," Arthur said, shifting his grip to pull away from Merlin and turn him in the right direction. "You get settled, I want to talk to Will."

Arthur held up his key fob and pressed the button. The lights flashed once and the car beeped merrily even though he was a good distance away from his still un-grown-up car. It never, he knew, let him down when he needed it to behave. He gave Merlin a push, urging him towards the little Beetle.

Merlin looked up at him, then at the car, then at Will and then at the two policemen, and then back to Arthur.

"Go on, I'll just be a minute."

Since Merlin looked increasingly worried one of the officers stepped forward.

"It's fine. Shall I go with him?" he asked Arthur.

"Go on Merlin. I'll be a couple of minutes, you'll be fine."

Merlin looked highly uncertain and gave the police officer a suspicious glance before he walked away, shuffling over to Arthur's car. As soon as Merlin turned Arthur indicated a few curt gestures to the police officer to tell him he should follow, but stay back and under no circumstances move forward to touch Merlin. The man looked baffled, but nodded and did as asked. Merlin looked around and realised the man had no intention of even attempt to invade his space, but merely flanked him as reassurance. That relaxed Merlin and Arthur turned his attention to Will.

"He could have come and looked for me."

"In a crowded pub, no, there was no way he could have," Arthur said. "He wanted out and as much as you don't like it, I am the most reassuring person he knows. I understand what he's been through."

Arthur watched the shift in Will's face, because Arthur made that clear. It was not just because he had been Merlin's psychiatrist, and still should be since Merlin was making no progress, and wouldn't without him. This was to do with the fact that Arthur had been there, and Will realised that. Arthur saw it sometimes, when people recognised him, when they saw him for what he was.

Despite the extreme nature of the circumstances, there was no denying the fact. He had killed two people. No one would argue the point that Arthur had done it because of self-preservation, and to protect Merlin. But the effect didn't just occur with strangers who randomly recognised him. Arthur had seen it from his friends, and from his family. He had done what he needed to do, and it scared people, possibly because he had completed it so well.

Arthur was, to put it simply, clearly capable of anything. It frightened others, and it frightened Arthur himself. He just had to spend more time living with it, and he had become accustomed to it.

"Will, you can't do this. He's not who he was, you can't turn him back into the Merlin you knew."

"I don't want to," Will said, clearly believing that, but also, Arthur decided, lying to himself at the same time. Since it was probably not the time to bring that up Arthur let it lie.

"You must have realised he wouldn't be able to cope in a situation like that," Arthur said instead. Will again looked angry, and gave the policeman still lingering at Arthur's side a wary glance.

"He could have said he didn't want to go."

"Did you give him a chance to?"

Will's fists clenched at his side, and thankfully a tall, slim girl with dark, wavy hair caused a distraction as she came out of the door.

"Will!" As she walked out she paused, assessing the scene. "What's going on?"

No one answered her. Arthur ignored her, guessing this was Mithian, the girl that Will had been talking to and had therefore forgotten Merlin.

"Just go back in, Will. I'll look after Merlin."

"I should stay with him, I promised Hunith."

"I'll call her, she won't have any reason to worry," Arthur said, deciding to completely override any of Will's arguments.

"Are you taking him home?"

"I don't know yet. There is no point you worrying about him. You can't stop living your life because Merlin's is on hold."

"I just want him to be back to how he was. You don't know Merlin like I do!"

Arthur refrained from pointing out that contradicted his words of a moment ago. Again, Arthur just Will's contradicting behaviour alone.

"No, I don't Will, and that is the point. You knew Merlin before this happened to him. I don't know the friend that you had, but I do know that he has gone!"

Arthur didn't exactly shout but his words made Will flinch.

"The Merlin I know is the one that is here now. I knew him when he came to the hospital. I know that Merlin, and I can safely say I know that Merlin better than anyone. Even you. He's too fragile for this, I hate to say it. I really hate to, but you're not good for him, you're not helping. You need to go, get on with your own life, and maybe you can get to know Merlin again."

"I was there! I was there all the time he was away! I looked after his mother, I did all the things she needed, when the pipes froze when the washing machine broke..."

"Hunith is not Merlin. There is no denying that you helped her. I saw you, and you bonded with her while Merlin was gone. Now she's dealing with him, and not deluding herself that it's all going to go back to how it was. She knows Merlin has changed, she's tried to change with him. You need to get on, do what you need to do and there is no reason to cut yourself off, from either of them. But they are reacquainting themselves with each other. The only reason I get to stand about and pontificate is the fact that Merlin, this Merlin, responded to me first. I know him better than his mother, and Hunith would conceded that. Being jealous over me achieves nothing, nor does putting your life on hold. Go back to the pub and get on with it."

Arthur by that point thought he had ranted enough. Almost.

"You came here to meet up with Mithian, on the pretext of taking Merlin out and getting him used to the world again, and no doubt thinking you could regain what you lost. Bit if you want to reconnect with him, you have to step backwards."

That was the end of it. Arthur couldn't say any more. He actually thought he had said the same thing, three times, just in different ways. Will was trying with Merlin, but he was doing it wrong. And as he looked at Will now, strong, robust and flushed from drink Arthur wondered if Will had known him at all. He understood Merlin's quirks and had followed along where Merlin went.

And perhaps that was the problem. Will had lost his lead, and wanted it back. Arthur didn't know if the situation ran that deeply, and he didn't have time to probe that.

"I can't tell you anything more. I have to go."

Arthur walked away, straight to his car. He paused by the officer that had followed Merlin and told them Will's name and the street he lived on. Arthur didn't know the exact house number but if he stalked off, at least they could get him home. Arthur actually wanted, and he told the officer as such, for him to just go back into the pub. Will wouldn't make any trouble, but Arthur couldn't, didn't, want to help him.

"Will you be all right Dr Pendragon?"

"Yes. I'm fine with Merlin. And my father knows I'm here and I will be contact him regarding this."

"We are supposed to issue some information to Bayard."

"Do so," Arthur said. "I don't think he will think that I am doing anything inappropriate to responding a friend calling me for help."

At that the man nodded and backed off. Arthur opened the driver's door and got into his car, shutting it and looking at Merlin.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes. Was Will angry?"

"Not at you. Don't you worry about that." Arthur said putting the key in the ignition and turning it. The car gave it's usual indignant splutter and then started. Arthur put it in reverse and slowly turned to get himself out of the car park Merlin turned his head to look around.

"Did you call the police? Or your dad?"

"My dad was there when you called, but that's not why they were there. They go past here a lot after that whole thing about the protection racquet and drug dealing ring going on there. Dad had a few officers working under-cover there. About five years ago it all came out, the day after my twenty-seventh birthday."

"You remember that well."

Arthur shrugged, and paused as he drove up to the exit of the car park. His hands tightened on the steering wheel.

"It was one occasion my father took me out soon enough to make it seem like a birthday dinner. Then just before the main course was delivered he got a phone call telling him Gwaine had been hurt while at the pub. The guy they were watching got too heavy with the barmaid, the landlord's daughter, and Gwaine naturally intervened. The guy stabbed him."

"So your dad left you?"

"Practically threw his credit card at me and didn't even bother making excuses. I paid as soon as I could and left, and went to my mother. I don't know if she had words with him."

Arthur put the car in a lower gear and paused at the junction, indicating left, even though there was no one to see it. He turned and started to drive.

"I thought you said your parents didn't talk."

"I'm starting to revise that opinion. I think for every occasion like that they kept their venom between themselves, and thought it best to never tell me. Do you want to go home, Merlin?"

"I never knew my father, I never had to worry about that. What?"

"Shall I take you home? We can ring your mum and I'll stay, I can bunk on the sofa."

"She'll just want to come home, I don't want that. She'll just worry."

"We could go to my flat. She might stress less if she knows you're with me, but somewhere that is neutral. I know she might feel obliged to come back if you are at home. It might be easier if you are somewhere she doesn't know."

"She might worry more."

"Knowing you're with me?"

"Can you ring her when we get there? I don't think I'll say it right."

"I'm sure you'd be fine but I will. Do you mind? My guest room is a bit sparse but it will be okay, and I can find you some pyjamas or boxers to sleep in."

Merlin grimaced and looked out of the window.

"I can't seem to sleep unless I'm naked."

Arthur frowned, glancing at Merlin, who was resolutely staring at the scenery. It seemed an odd thing.

"You wore pyjamas at the hospital."

"I didn't sleep much," Merlin said. "Just now, I can't... I just remember the bed in the farmhouse, and..."

And what had been done had put Merlin into a habit, clearly one that his treatment at the hospital had not worked him out of.

"Is it something you want to stop?"

Merlin turned to look at him. "Do you think that would help?"

Arthur paused to concentrate on driving as he negotiated a mini-roundabout, glaring at a cab driver who almost went across his right of way. Then as he straightened up he said.

"I don't think it makes much of a different. People develop habits for all sort of different reasons. If you are more comfortable that like then it is because you got used to it. Stressing over such a detail probably isn't worth it."

Merlin frowned and went back to looking out of the window. Arthur didn't bother trying to engage him in conversation, the silence between them seemed entirely companionable. He was used to not hearing any conversation from Merlin, and Arthur had never bothered overly chatting to Merlin in his catatonic state. That sort of thing was Elena's specialty.

"Is that why you don't like Gwaine?" Merlin turned back and suddenly asked. The car jerked slightly as Arthur jumped in surprise. He went down a gear to prevent the engine from stalling and put his foot down on the accelerator. Once the car had levelled out Arthur answered.

"I think it's a little more complicated than like and dislike."

"He doesn't like you, or... that's wrong, what I just said...he doesn't understand your aversion to him."

"I'm not adverse to him. It's just, my dad thought I would follow him into the police force and I think from when I was a baby he thought I would just toddle in his footsteps. Then I didn't, and he just used to pick out people that he could encourage and nurture. Gwaine was one of them."

"And that made him seem more important than you?"

"That night when my father ran of. I know he's not good a delegating things like that but Morgana was already on scene with Gwaine and there was no reason for him to get that involved. I could have understood him wanted to keep his phone on and listening to updates but just to drop everything and run away from me..."

"Maybe he found Gwaine easier."

"I thought I'm meant to be the psychiatrist."

"And sometimes you seem to assume that people don't listen to you and understand what you say."

"Just for the record though, I don't hate Gwaine, it's just hard sometimes to deal with him. I can look at him and see what my father imagined me to be like, before I was even born."

"The rough and tumble save the world type?" Merlin said.

"Interesting analogy. Gwaine is that, I'm not."

Merlin went back to the scenery. "I wouldn't have said that. I know."

Merlin knew, Arthur was capable of anything, and he did not judge him for it.


	6. Chapter 6

Merlin looked around the little flat with interest. This was Arthur's own private space, something that was quintessentially his. On the wall in the hallway a neat row of coat hooks had been secured, and a plastic mat underneath had been set up to form space for boots and shoes. Automatically Merlin paused close by to pull of his trainers and he carefully put them on the mat.

"You don't have to do that," Arthur said.

"You do."

With his retort happily there, and while Arthur took his boots off and put them exactly in place, Merlin wandered further, padding into the open plan living space in his stocking feet and again looking around curiously. The kitchen area looked clean, although several items still occupied the draining board and few items cluttered up the small table at the far end. Merlin smiled at the fruit neatly piled in the fruit bowl, a pile of papers and junk mail and, oddly, a cluster of neatly rolled pairs of socks. Merlin pushed the socks about with one finger.

"I always forget to put bits like that away," Arthur said. "And I haven't spent much time here recently what with Christmas and stuff."

Merlin paused prodding, raising his eyebrows. He knew what the reference 'stuff' referred to. Instead he turned and looked around the living space. The television looked quite small, and under that, in the cabinet, sat a dvd player and a video machine.

"I thought those were extinct," Merlin said pointing at the video.

"I've just not got round to getting rid of it, mum bought me the DVD player a couple of years ago, not that I use it much."

Merlin shrugged and turned his attention to the other side of the room, beyond the sofa a computer desk and lap top were set up, and close by a set of shelves containing files and psychology books. Merlin almost tiptoed over to it, the entire desk, pigeon holes and little filing cabinet at one side looked so purposeful and business-like. That section of the room had clearly become Arthur's working area. To soften it, even thought it was again a working area, stood an easel with a painting that Arthur appeared to be working on; his portrait of Igraine. On a second, smaller desk tucked up into one corner, lay a stack of sketch books and pencils.

The room was large enough to prevent it from looking cluttered, but it made the space seem busy, an area of the flat that Arthur used more than any other. Merlin turned as Arthur started pottering around the kitchen, pouring water into the kettle and hunting for clean mugs.

"Coffee?" Arthur asked. "Or tea, or I'm sure I've got some hot chocolate somewhere."

"Why? You don't like chocolate."

"I'm not sure," Arthur said opening the jar and poking the contents with a spoon. "My mother probably convinced me that it was polite to cover every eventuality and I'm certain this is a little bit stale."

"I'll have the chocolate." Merlin said easing away from Arthur's private domain to go back to the kitchen space. "No one ever died from chocolate a little out of it's time. One more... just a little one."

Arthur had dumped two heavily laden teaspoons and Merlin added the other.

"The best before date is January, it's nearly twelve months off," Arthur said, finally finding the information on the faded label.

"I dare say I'll live. I've suffered worse."

"No one takes that lightly, Merlin," Arthur said pouring water into the mugs. Merlin pulled out one of the chairs around the table and sank down into it.

"I don't either, by any means."

"Sorry. If it's hideous I can find something else." Arthur passed the mug over and Merlin took it in both hands and sniffed it.

"No, it isn't and no you couldn't. I'm not too keen on tea or coffee."

"I guess I don't plan for every eventuality, my mother will be cross with me. Which reminds me I had better ring and tell them where I am. You'd better ring Hunith."

Arthur picked up the cordless phone nestled on his kitchen counter and he took it over to Merlin. He looked at it uncertainly as he pressed the buttons to dial Hunith's mobile. He glanced up at Arthur, and held the phone out.

"Could you do it? It might sound better."

Arthur wasn't entirely sure of that, but he shrugged and took the phone. Merlin had dialled and Arthur waited while he listened to the phone ring. It got picked up on the third ring.

"Hello?"

Hunith didn't sound terribly stressed but he heard the concern in her voice, probably because it was an unfamiliar number.

"Hi Hunith, it's Arthur. I wanted to ring and let you know that Merlin is with me."

"Oh!" Now she sounded surprised, but the concern appeared to have faded.

"Merlin called me. He and Will had gone down to the pub and it became a bit too much for Merlin. He couldn't find Will so he went out to the phone box and called me."

Arthur spoke in a perfectly normal tone, making it seem as if Merlin had behaved in a rational fashion, simply going to find the help he needed. Running over the emotions that he had felt over the last hour or so Merlin didn't think it was completely true; but he had, in the circumstance, done the right thing. Arthur waited, listening to Hunith.

"I saw Will before I left, and sent him back in, he knew people in the pub."

There was another pause.

"It's not his fault. Just doing something normal like that does work for people, they can just seem to snap back into a routine they know. I have seen it before, but it's not going to work in Merlin's case," Arthur said, so Merlin guessed that Will's motives had been called into question. He sipped at his chocolate while he listened intently, not minding the fact that he was the subject of the conversation. The chocolate tasted a little over powdery but it was fine, he took another sip and considered his actions.

Had he been behaving rationally? He hadn't been able to cope and had left the crowded, noisy pub. The people pressing on him had made him feel claustrophobic, and almost ready to vomit. In the end he knew he had just wanted to get away, for a moment he had frozen, letting the world pass him by as he started to lock himself away. Then something had pulled at the back of his mind and Merlin had activated, heading for the door. The cold night air had made his body tingle and looking round he had seen the phone box and known who he had wanted, and how to get him.

Not for a moment had Merlin doubted Arthur's response. He had felt entirely certain that Arthur would help, that he would come running. It made Merlin feel a little guilty, falling back on Arthur's good nature, but Merlin needed to cling to it. He went back to listening to Arthur's side of the conversation.

"Trust me Hunith, he's fine. I brought him over to my flat, I can put him up in the guest room and drive him back in the morning."

Arthur looked up, frowning at Merlin, looking slightly amused.

"No, I don't mind. He's right here," Arthur said taking the phone from his ear and holding it out to Merlin. Since Arthur had done most of the groundwork Merlin took the phone off him. Once he had passed the phone over Arthur picked up his mobile, waving his hands to indicate that he was going to call his parents. Merlin nodded, going back to his own phone conversation.

"Hi Mum."

"Are you all right sweetheart?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it was all right when the pub was quiet, then it got a bit crowded and... I'm all right." Merlin's voice sounded confident to his own ears. He did feel better now. Arthur's drifted into the hallway to make his own call, and to give Merlin some privacy.

"Hi mum," Arthur said as Igraine answered. "Everything's fine. I brought Merlin back to the flat. I don't think he's up to dealing with anyone really, I can put him up in the spare room."

As he drifted into the hall he turned on the light to the spare room. It didn't look any different to any other time he entered it.

"Have you got clean towels?" Igraine asked him. Arthur rolled his eyes, of all the things to worry about in the situation, his mother was guaranteed to think of something like that. He smiled to himself and opened a cupboard, finding, as he always did, the guest towels on the top shelf.

"Yes, I do," Arthur said.

"Okay. Have you let Hunith know?"

"Merlin's just on the phone to her now. I've spoken to her as well."

"Are you coming back tomorrow, sweetheart?"

"More than likely. I'm not sure when, it's late now and I don't know if either of us are particularly tired, so we may sleep in. I'll ring you again when I get up."

"Okay, sweetheart. Your father wants to speak to you."

Arthur gritted his teeth and left the spare room and went into the bathroom to see if he had a spare toothbrush somewhere. He rummaged through the box that he put all his unopened toiletries in.

"Arthur, is everything all right?"

"Yes, Merlin's fine, Hunith knows where he is, I spoke to Will and cleared that part up, and I even have clean guest towels, plus a spare toothbrush."

"Arthur, don't be facetious."

"Sorry. The point being I can look after Merlin. I know what I'm doing."

"I know. I just think..." Uther paused.

"What?"

There was a slight pause before Uther decided to answer him. "There is a point, Arthur, at which you and Merlin become a rather volatile combination. I know you two need to discuss things, but just be careful."

Arthur blinked, unable to answer for a moment. It was the closest anyone had come to openly admitting that there was something unexplored between them.

"I know. We'll be fine, and careful."

"Okay. Phone your mother in the morning. I'll call you when I get a chance."

"Fine, see ya," Arthur hung up before Uther could correct his grammar. He debated turning his phone off and then thought better of it, just in case someone tried to call him. As he turned he jumped. Merlin had finished his phone call and almost silently wandered out to find him, taking Arthur a little by surprise.

"Sorry," Merlin said. "I told my mum I was fine, and that I would call her in the morning."

"I did the same with mine, and I have a spare toothbrush and towels in the guest room for you."

Arthur pointed in the direction of the room. Merlin turned and looked into the room, stepping over the threshold carefully and probing his toes into the thick rug that spread across the laminate floor.

"It's very neat," he said as Arthur reached to pull out some towels.

"I don't use it very much. When I decorated I sort of thought my mum might visit, or I'd have friends over, but I always go to my mum's rather than her coming here."

"And no friends?" Merlin asked with a smile. Arthur frowned.

"Lancelot used it once, when his boiler packed up and it took them a week to get it fixed. And Elena locked herself out one night and came round at two in the morning as I was cheaper than dragging out a locksmith at that obscene time."

"Charming," Merlin said flopping down onto the bed.

"She did have a point, and she didn't make that much mess."

Merlin giggled. "I can imagine that."

"I was dating her at the time," Arthur mused. Merlin stopped giggling and looked stunned.

"Really?"

"Yeah. A few dates anyway, it didn't really amount to much. Do you need a bath towel? You can have a shower if you like."

Merlin sat up on the bed, hunching his shoulders a little and letting his hands drop into his lap.

"In the morning, maybe. I don't know. I don't really know what I want to do."

"Do you want to get some sleep? Or just rest for a while...?"

Merlin frowned, screwing up his face and sighing. "I don't think so. I'm not tired, but... it's just one of those weird feelings, like you've reached a bit of an anti-climax and don't know what to do next."

"Fight or flight instinct. You started the flight instinct and then didn't sort of... end with a real flight, if you see what I mean. Sorry, I'm being a psychiatrist there."

"No worries, you are a psychiatrist. I almost started the fight part but something stopped me."

"Fight?"

Merlin huffed. "I went very still, like I did before. Not that much!" Merlin added loudly as he saw the look on Arthur's face. Arthur looked uncertain, carefully putting the towels down on the dressing table.

"I wasn't doing it totally, it was just like you said, instinct, then I sort of snapped back. The world around me seemed to slow down, like every little detail just went past and I could watch it so carefully. Then it sort of speeded up and I got out and called you."

Arthur had put the towels down and he backed up slowly.

"I got the feeling that something wasn't right. I felt really pent up before you called and then you rang me. My father is right, we do make a volatile combination if we aren't careful. I'm sorry for what I did the other day."

"What?"

"When we were out walking and I sort of opened my mind. I'd never tried anything like that before, I've never thought about it."

Merlin shrugged. "It took me by surprise. I've never had anyone get in like that before, not even Morgause. Although she tried."

"There is a difference Merlin."

"What?"

"You let me in long before then."

Merlin stared up at him and slowly nodded. Arthur relaxed a fraction and smiled.

"As we aren't tired, I can look at what DVD's I have, or videos."

He watched Merlin's shoulders slump further as he relaxed dramatically.

"Okay."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Merlin didn't pay that much attention as Arthur argued with his DVD and video players to get one of them to play something. He fiddled with the remote controls while Merlin again drifted to Arthur's working area in the flat. He brushed his fingers of the edge of the computer table, where Arthur clearly worked. It seemed a bit of a violation to touch that so Merlin instead moved past that to look at the portrait of Igraine.

Staring at the likeness that Arthur was in the process of painting, Merlin vaguely remembered her. She had been in the room, when he and Arthur had been recovering from the kidnapping. Although he hadn't really registered her that much visually he had gained a strong sense of her, not just in herself, but through Arthur.

The calm exterior that Arthur seemed to have inherited from her did not match the simmering emotions that Igraine had been feeling at the time. But she had been angry, because Arthur had been hurt, and because Uther had excluded her, excluding her from something to do with their son, which Uther had, in her mind, no right to. Merlin knew there had been extenuating circumstances but those wouldn't mean anything to a woman whose child had been in mortal danger.

"Oh!" Merlin suddenly announced in surprise. While he had been musing he had started to flick through one of the sketch books and he blinked at the sight of a picture of himself. Arthur jerked his head up, pressing buttons randomly, which seemed to suddenly make the DVD want to load up properly. Arthur let the copyright warning trail across the screen, forgetting it for a moment as he got up to look at what Merlin had found. Obligingly Merlin lifted the sketch pad to show him.

"Oh, sorry about that. Not very ethical."

"When did you do it?" Merlin asked turning the pad back so he could look at it and try to work that out.

"After the nightmare. The one Lancelot called me into the hospital for, when you drew the first victim. Not the first... first, but the one after you had been admitted to the annexe. That one!"

Arthur wondered if he was describing that right as Merlin's face closed up and he put the pad down carefully. And Arthur knew it was not a very good thing to have done anyway, when Merlin was upset, and so damaged. Merlin swallowed very carefully, his hand rested on the sheet of paper, which his eyes remained on intently, as he said,

"That wasn't the first one."

"No! I never drew you before that, and I haven't since..."

Merlin didn't move as he added, talking in a low, subdued, tone.

"It wasn't the first victim."

"Oh."

"After I was rescued and before I told you that," Merlin clarified. His tone of voice lay very flat.

"That's not your fault, Merlin."

"But I could have told someone. Maybe not before, but when I woke up."

"I think it is accepted that there are more victims than we know of, than even you know of. No one will assume that you know more, and if you are not ready to tell anyone then... we just need to wait."

"And is that right for them?"

Arthur flinched. He didn't want to drag Merlin into something he didn't want to do. Or make it to obvious. But it was a clear need in Merlin. If he knew people had been victims of something how could he honestly be happy knowing that he had not even bothered to tell someone. Arthur's hand drifted to pick up another sketch pad and he held it out to Merlin.

"Do you want to draw them?"

Merlin glanced at the pad, staring at it for a long moment. Arthur flipped the pages about to leave Merlin with a clear unblemished page. He held it, and a pencil, in one hand and with the other he twined his fingers with Merlin.

"Come on, sit down. We can watch this and think about it."

Merlin nodded and allowed Arthur to lead him to the sofa.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Four exhausting hours later they had six pictures. Arthur didn't spend too long examining the faces that Merlin drew. Neither did Merlin, he didn't look at the sheet of paper as his hand moved. He stared at the screen as Arthur tried to find stuff to watch that would not upset Merlin.

As he sifted through his small collection he realised he didn't really have anything that didn't have violence. He liked horror films and science fiction. In the end he decided to watch the Alien trilogy box set that he had acquired from somewhere.

"I like films that are a bit gross, and I sort of like to watch how people react."

Arthur sounded like he was apologising for something. But he studied certain things to see how people dealt with things. He wondered if there was something in it. When it was needed he had done the exact same thing. He chose to protect himself and Merlin. It was not much of a choice, both of them locked away, with no one else to help them, and Merlin...

Arthur paused and thought.

Merlin had been vulnerable but not helpless. He had done things to aid Arthur; and Uther was right, there was something between them. Arthur had felt the need to take charge, and help Merlin. In response to that, Merlin, in his own way, had taken responsibility for Arthur.

As Merlin tore off another sheet of paper Arthur stopped staring at the screen and turned to look at Merlin. He looked tired, the dark circles under his eyes had increased in prominence. Reaching out Arthur took the pencil and paper away.

"Stop for a bit Merlin."

"I need to do this."

Arthur shifted on the sofa, turning to face him, taking Merlin's twitching right hand.

"I know. I know you do, but you look tired, and you've drawn six. They are gone Merlin, you're still here, and you have to look after yourself, just a little. When morning comes I will talk to my dad, and he can take the pictures, and probably give them to Leon to sift through. It won't take him that long to work out who they are."

"But I can't just leave it."

"You can for a few hours." Arthur put everything to one side and stood up and he eased Merlin up with him. "Come on, you need to get some sleep."

Merlin nodded, looking down, blinking slowly and swaying on his feet.

"I don't want to stay on my own."

Arthur blinked, and then shrugged. "You can stay with me, come on."

Determinedly Arthur led him out of the living area and towards the bedrooms. Instead of going into the guest room Arthur turned the other direction and flipped on the light in his own bedroom. Again it was tidy, and neat, and looked as it did every other day he entered it. Merlin looked around, sleepily, probably not really taking much in. Arthur didn't bother asking if Merlin wanted to wash, or brush his teeth. He looked to tired for anything. Arthur led Merlin to the bed.

"I'll go and turn everything off, you get in and I won't be long."

Merlin nodded, his head still down and he slowly tugged at the hem of his jumper to pull it up. Then his head jerked up suddenly and he looked at Arthur in alarm.

"Have you locked the door?"

"I'll do a check while I'm turning everything off," Arthur said soothingly. Merlin looked uncertain but he nodded.

Once he had turned off the electrics Arthur went to the door. He knew he had locked it up when he had come in, but checking it would make Merlin feel better. Once he felt sure of that he looked around the flat one more time before heading back into the bedroom. He had left the small bedside lamp on. Merlin had tucked himself up in the bed, huddled under the duvet, but on the chair in the corner Arthur spotted Merlin's discarded clothes.

Arthur undressed swiftly, sliding on the loose trousers he always slept in and he lifted the duvet to slip in, seeing just enough of Merlin's skin to realise he had stripped, taking off everything except the scarf around his neck. Arthur didn't comment, whatever made Merlin comfortable, and able to sleep, would be fine. On the flip side Arthur didn't want to contemplate what anyone thought if they found out.

He felt Merlin shift slightly, his hand reaching out to find Arthur's, holding to him tightly. After a moment Arthur felt Merlin relax, his breathing steadied out and he gave a light snore to indicate that he was indeed asleep. Turning as carefully as he could, so as not to disturb Merlin, or lose his grip on Merlin's hand, Arthur settled down closing his eyes and following Merlin into sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Uther looked at the sketches with interest. Arthur had arranged to see him on New Year's Day, to hand over the work Merlin had done.

"How is Merlin?" Uther asked as he spread the pictures out on the desk, eyeing each one in turn.

"He's doing all right."

"And he did all of these the other night?"

"He seems to think he could do more but I don't want him pushing himself too hard."

"No, there is no need. I know the press have hinted at the possibility of other victims but they didn't make it too obvious. If these are anything to go by we should be able to follow up some other leads, but Merlin still needs to consider himself in this. For that reason I intend to keep this as confidential as possible."

Arthur nodded. "I've labelled them. Two were Morgause's victims while Merlin was catatonic. Three, he thinks, might have been prior to, perhaps during, the other known victims and one he isn't very sure of."

Uther nodded as he read Arthur's notes and carefully slotted the pictures into order.

"We can run them through missing persons. Once we match them we can speak to the families again, and see if we can get any DNA matches with some of the samples taken from the farmhouse."

"If Merlin does any others I can get them to you. I know he wants to help, but it's tiring for him and I don't want him overdoing it."

Uther listened, staring at Arthur before adding.

"But doing something like this may help him?"

Arthur nodded. "I think so."

Uther moved the relevant portraits. "You said these two were killed while Merlin was catatonic?"

Again Arthur nodded.

"Before he reacted with you?" Uther clarified.

"When he was in the main hospital. It might have been at a point when he was too weak to react."

"Or maybe he hadn't found you. It was quite obvious he had connected with you."

"Morgause said I had a similar talent to Cenred. Empathic she called it."

"That's plausible. Although I wonder if as well as understanding and feeling emotions there is also an ability to project."

"You mean I can affect people, or make them feel what I'm feeling?"

"I think so. You react to people's moods but the way you work gives the impression that perhaps you have a subtle affect on people."

Arthur raised his eyebrows.

"Not to say that it is the be all and end all of what you do to help people. But you have a knack of making them respond to you."

"That's what I have started to think. I haven't spoken to Merlin about why he responded to me."

"Is that something you intend to explore?"

"We need to discuss some of it but I'm not going to push Merlin too hard."

"Or yourself either I hope."

Arthur looked at his father in surprise.

"You seem to keep forgetting that you were just as much a victim as Merlin was."

"And a perpetrator," Arthur added. Uther sat back.

"Not one person could say that you didn't do anything without severe provocation, or as a last resort. You not only had yourself but also Merlin to think of. To be quite honest I would not like to contemplate what those two would have done if they had managed to take control of both you and Merlin."

"I hadn't really thought about that."

"Versions of the scenario have been playing over in my mind," Uther confessed. Arthur saw the darkening in his father's eyes, usually a sign that he was getting angry. He didn't think it was just about Morgause and Cenred harnessing whatever power Merlin and himself had. Arthur's mind briefly replayed Cenred getting his hands all over him. Uther knew the full extend of Cenred's depravity, and had to consider that Arthur had been a near recipient of it. He felt the utmost sympathy for Merlin, and the other victims, as a policeman. But as a father the thought of it happening to Arthur filled Uther with terror.

The rather uncomfortable moment between them shattered as Arthur's phone began to ring. He picked it up off the table and glanced at the display.

"Sorry, Dad," he said, and then. "Hello, Freya," as he answered it.

Uther watched Arthur nod.

"Yes, Merlin and I will be there for about eight. I promise. If you want ring me when you get there and I will come out and meet you." Arthur smirked and then after a pause said. "See you tonight."

Uther raised his eyebrows. "Tonight?"

"Lancelot's birthday party. Freya invited herself when she overheard him and Gwen talking, but her parents will only let her go if I'm there."

Arthur shifted in the seat to stuff his phone into his pocket, lifting his hips to gain access. Then he thumped his backside back down in the chair. Uther looked at him curiously.

"And you're taking Merlin?"

Arthur shrugged in embarrassment. "He overheard me talking to Freya about it and at least he can socialise with people who understand that he might not be entirely good in groups."

"It's everyone he knows from the hospital?"

"Most of the staff, and Percival, and Leon, and I think Morgana and Gwaine as well. They have got to know everyone pretty well over the last few weeks."

"I have never known you to go."

"Most of the time I've been with mum, but she's busy."

Uther rolled his eyes at Arthur's intonation. "No, she mentioned this morning that you were going out, so she invited me to dinner."

"What are you two playing at?"

"We're not playing at anything," Uther said, with ill-concealed irritation. "I think too much time has passed for us to consider ever getting back together."

Although Arthur knew his father had thought about it.

"But we are at a point when to keep on as we are is ridiculous. I have always loved your mother, I always will. And I can only hope she might feel the same."

Arthur sighed heavily "You know she does."

He decided not to react to how happy his father looked.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

That night Arthur pulled his car up onto Lancelot's driveway. Merlin looked at the house nervously, hearing the music from inside. It didn't reverberate too much - Lancelot was considerate of his neighbours - but it hinted at the activity inside. Something that Arthur dreaded as much as Merlin.

"What are these parties like?" Merlin asked.

Arthur unfastened his seatbelt. "I don't know. I've never been to one before."

"But..." Merlin looked confused as he copied Arthur's action of releasing his seatbelt. "You're Lancelot's friend. He must have invited you before."

"Yes, but I've never really been good at that sort of thing. And I've always had my mum. I always stay with her over the holidays."

"I used to like parties," Merlin mused as he opened the car door. He jumped as something pinged and Arthur hurriedly turned off the lights. Looking at Arthur he said. "You must have gone out at college and stuff."

"I had to study a lot," Arthur said as he got out of the car. "University was better than college though."

"Really? You don't sound to enthusiastic. I would have thought you would have been out all the time."

Arthur locked the car, leaning on the roof and raising his eyebrows. Very slowly he shook his head.

"I didn't exactly win any popularity contests, and I never got invited out, certainly not when I was in school and sixth form."

"Why not? I mean... you look like..." Merlin gestured and Arthur grinned.

"Thank you, that was all very well but who wants 'the copper's son' hanging around, spoiling things. Not that I ever did. I wanted to go out and drink underage and pull heads off flowers and lounge about where people didn't want me to sit. Well, maybe not the flowers thing, really, but you get the point."

"I guess."

"My parentage didn't make me very popular. In fact, rather unpopular."

"Didn't Uther do anything about it?"

"I kept most of it under wraps. My father sticking his oar in would have made it worse."

"That's weird. I never got bullied and I did all that sort of stuff. We sort of look as if it should be the other way round though."

Arthur chuckled. "Appearances can be deceptive. You were a party boy?"

"Me and Will always went out. I used to like it. Will was the one who always wanted to go, so he could meet whatever girl he was after, but I didn't mind being in the crowd, chatting to people. I supposed that's why I liked my jobs. It was sort of the same thing."

"I was never good with crowds. It always felt oppressive to me. So many people just made it all difficult. I always seemed better with just one or two people around me. One on one interaction is best for me. I'm socially awkward according to Morgana."

"Really?" Merlin said, with such interest that Arthur paused walking across Lancelot's neatly mown lawn.

"What do you mean?"

"Thinking about it, about the crowds when you were younger. Maybe you were just the right age. Late teens. It's when it all happens."

Arthur stared at Merlin, slowly processing what Merlin was hinting at. It would have been the age when his talent was developing, if the evidence they had was anything to go by, just like the other boys Cenred and Morgause targeted. Now Merlin had pointed out that simple fact the trials of his teenage years started to make even more sense.

He had felt uncomfortable in crowds, odd sensations rippling over him, making him feel oppressed. He had never really stuck it for long, another things that did nothing for his reputation; when he left the few events he was invited to early. He could always just sense the animosity, and the furtive ripples that no one could really do anything with him around - because he was bound to tell.

On the flip side in small groups or with just one person Arthur had been fine. He got on well with people, he understood them in that capacity.

His contemplation stopped as he heard someone hollering his name.

Freya had clambered out of her father's car and she waved enthusiastically at them with one hand, while propping something tightly against her torso with the other. Arthur waved back, waiting as Freya slammed the car door, said something to her father through the driver's window and then trotted towards them. Arthur waved again at the occupant of the vehicle. Freya turned again to wave as the car drove off.

"Hello!" she said with her usual exuberance.

"Hi."

Freya beamed at Arthur and then glanced at Merlin.

"Hi, I'm Freya."

"Merlin, hi."

Arthur watched them appraise each other for a moment. Freya had been discharged on the day that Merlin had arrived. They had never crossed paths. Freya stared at Merlin with wide eyes, and Merlin assessed her in a similar fashion. Each one looked rather intrigued by the other but didn't seem inclined to say anything. Arthur stepped forward, moving between them. He put his hand on Freya's back to guide her towards the door. On the other side he was a tad more careful with Merlin, merely putting his arm out without touching him.

They all paused again at the sight of two figures walking along the pavement. Vivian had her arm looped through Leon's. Freya waved again, bounding across the lawn towards them, jumping to avoid the small border of flowers that Lancelot had planted.

"Hey Viv!"

"Hello."

"Are you lot planning a party on my lawn?" Lancelot asked as he opened the front door. Freya's bounding changed direction towards him, hopping up the steps to the door. Vivian watched her, raising her perfectly groomed eyebrows.

"I swear that one of these days that girl is going to sprout wings."

"She is enthusiastic," Arthur conceded as Freya's voice carried back towards them, while she held up the burden she had been carrying.

"Hi, I brought bottles! Non-alcoholic bottles, but bottles all the same."

"Thanks," Lancelot said, stepping back to let her in. Arthur chuckled again, and his hand connected with Merlin's back as Merlin inched closer to him, presumably for comfort. Vivian glanced at him.

"Are you all right Merlin?"

He looked a little surprised but he gave a slight smile. "All right, I think. I'm not sure I'm ready for this though."

"You'll be fine. The good thing about this party is most people here are nuts, or know how to deal with people of that capacity."

"You're not nuts," Arthur corrected. Vivian looked at him steadily and Leon rolled his eyes.

"Have you ever seen her play Trivial Pursuits?"

"Humm," Arthur murmured.

"I can't help being competitive," Vivian said holding up the bag she was carrying. "Two bottles, and one birthday present."

Lancelot frowned at her, taking the bag. "Thank you."

"I know my proper etiquette for parties," Vivian told him primly as she headed into the living room.

"Nice shirt," Arthur murmured to Leon as he herded Merlin over the threshold of the house. Leon had stepped back to allow Arthur to stay close to Merlin.

"Designer. It was a present."

"From Vivian?"

"No Olaf, he said I needed something better tailored than my usual casual wear."

Arthur paused, in front of him Merlin stopped at the same time, his instinct to stay as close to Arthur as possible.

"Really?" Arthur asked, thinking that he had never seen Leon anything less than well-dressed. Leon shrugged and looked mildly offended.

"I think the best thing to do with him is just take it, nodding meekly while you do so."

"He can't argue with you really. Viv's rediscovered lunch thanks to you."

"When we first went out to dinner and she ordered risotto I thought he was about to fall out of his chair." Leon sounded very smug and Arthur laughed. He pushed Merlin further in and stayed on his heels.

"Oh look, the sad hermit's out of his shell!" a light voice announced. Arthur felt Merlin tense and he leant forward to whisper in his ear.

"She means me," Arthur told Merlin as Elena drifted up to them grinning at Arthur.

"Hello Merlin!" she said brightly turning her attention to him and reaching out she gently hugged him. Elena did so in an entirely natural fashion, she had dealt with Merlin in such as way for months. All the nurses had by necessity and Elena, naturally tactile, did so without thinking.

Merlin looked dazed. "Hi."

"You look good, still got the neckerchief."

"Yes,." Merlin said reaching up to adjust the material. "It hides the scars, and I would have hated roll necks."

"So Gwen was right for that fashion tip. I think you would have looked bad. She does take her fashion very seriously."

"Oh," Merlin said, pulling on his scarf again. Elena shifted subjects.

"Drinks, you guys? Merlin do you want something alcoholic or a soft drink?"

"I don't know," Merlin said, then completely contradicted himself by saying. "I'd like to have a beer."

"Then have one. If you don't want it all dump the rest on Gwaine; literally if you like, it wouldn't be the first time," Morgana announced. "Have a beer Merlin."

"Okay."

"Don't bully him," Elena said. Morgana raised her eyebrows.

"I didn't. I said try it and Gwaine will take it if you don't want it. Lancelot has some low alcohol stuff anyway."

"Okay then," Merlin said a little more confidently.

"Coke, Arthur?"

"Yes, thank you Morgana."

"If you want a drink Arthur you can cab it home," Lancelot said as he started getting drinks together.

"No, I'm taking Merlin home."

"He can have a cab too."

"No, I need to take him home," Arthur said sternly but with patience. Merlin looked grateful by the insistence, only looking away as Lancelot offered out a beer.

"Try that."

Reaching out Merlin took the glass very tentatively, eyeing the bubbling contents with mild apprehension. Carefully he took a tentative sip. Leon turned to engage Morgana in a conversation about a subject loosely relating to work. With a sharp glance around she took the hint and answered turning her attention away from Merlin as he sipped at his beer. Arthur took his coke from Lancelot and swallowed a mouthful.

Vivian came back to link her arm with Leon and she listened to the conversation with Morgana. Lancelot wandered off and Elena went silent, the conversation happening but she was no part of it.

Merlin had no idea that Leon had spoken to distract the others from him, and that the rest of them realised that and acted accordingly. While that happened Merlin dealt with the taste of the beer, feeling it bubble on his tongue before he swallowed it. The first few times his throat tensed, and the drink tasted strange, almost clinical. He paused and looked at the amber drink, bubbles drifting around and Arthur's hand rubbed up and down his lower back. Reassured by that Merlin tried again, sipping the drink, deciding that it wasn't all that bad.

"Okay?" Arthur asked.

"I think so. I'll only have two or so though, as I haven't drunk in a long while. Don't you ever drink?"

Arthur eyed his coke. "Not really. Only if my mum opens a bottle of wine for dinner, or my father gets around to taking me out for a drink... and that sounds really sad doesn't it?"

Merlin gave a slight smile, nodding with it sounding amused. "You really are socially awkward."

"Yeah, although at least around here, most people know how to deal with me in that capacity."

Merlin's eyes brightened at the reiteration of Vivian's words and he laughed. Arthur felt not only Merlin's body but also his mind relax, and that was something. Merlin also turned and looked around, pausing sipping his beer to say.

"By the way, is there something going on between Lancelot and Gwen."

"They're good at hiding it," Arthur said.

Morgana raised her eyebrows. "Someone ought to tell Gwaine that."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"So, what about you waking up? Did you just decide to do it? Or did it just happen?"

Gwaine had asked the questions openly, directly to Merlin, regarding his recovery. Arthur couldn't work out how subject came up. He had been talking to Gwen and Freya. Merlin, close by, had been chatting to Gwaine, who had come over to ask about Kilgharrah's repaired wing.

"Good, not dropped at all. You are a regular Mr Fix-it."

"Glad to hear it."

"Arthur bought me another dragon for Christmas," Merlin said proudly, which made Arthur's chest warm with pride. Gwaine grinned.

"Really?"

"Yeah, although it looked really expensive," Merlin said guiltily. "And I didn't think to get him anything."

"I wouldn't worry. I think you walking and talking is present enough for any of us. Does the new dragon get a name?"

"Athusia," Merlin said. Gwaine frowned and shrugged.

"How did you think of that?"

Merlin mirrored the shrug. "Dunno, just did."

Letting that pass Gwaine altered the subject. "So, you remember all of that, everything going on around you?"

Merlin nodded. "Yeah."

Then Gwaine had asked those questions. The people around him had paused, some regarding him in shock, others glaring at him for his tactlessness. The sudden silence made his eyes widen and Merlin looked around.

"Oh, well, I'm not sure. I think I..."

"Gwaine!" Morgana snapped. Gwaine looked nonplussed and Merlin raised his hand.

"No, it's fine. I'm glad someone asked."

The small group clustered closer, music playing in the background while they all waited. Arthur moved nearer to Merlin, standing next to him.

"I don't think anyone thought to question it. Everyone was just glad that you came back," Arthur said.

Merlin blinked, and nodded. "I don't know the answer really. I saw everything around me, and I knew I was safe, in the hospital... I knew where I was, but I wasn't always there. Doing two things at once, having to think about them..."

As he paused and frowned Merlin shook his head violently.

"I couldn't stop, Morgause was still there and I needed Arthur. I had to use him to make everyone see. Then it took a little while to work out so... sorry I made you jump," he added, looking at Elena. "And I like the scarves, they were nice. But I couldn't let her see, I couldn't let her in and... It was Arthur. He did it."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Tesco didn't seem that frightening. It was a short drive out from the area and as Merlin looked around he didn't see anyone really looking at him. They were shopping and concentrating on their own lives. The previous night had changed his perception and Gwaine had helped, asking questions that nobody else would; but that was why Uther thought Gwaine was always good in interrogations. Merlin thought the beer had helped him answer and Arthur, being so calm and accepting.

"Do you want Pringles, Merlin?"

Merlin turned his head and looked around, he also let his gaze drift to another brand.

"They're cheaper."

"I've never tried them," Hunith said.

"Half the price," Merlin pointed out. "Try them."

Hunith shrugged and placed the selected crisps in the trolley.

"You didn't tell me if you had a nice time last night."

"Oh, didn't I? Yes. Sorry I stayed with Arthur but I didn't want to drag him out further, and..."

He paused as Hunith put a gentle hand on his arm.

"I don't mind you staying out Merlin, especially not with Arthur. By now you should have been leaving home and getting on with your own life. I don't want me to be a reason that you don't."

"You're not, mum." Merlin reached out to put his other hand on Hunith's. "I want to stay at home, I know that..."

Hunith watched as Merlin stopped talking, his eyes widened, his gaze drifting but he saw nothing. Fury crossed her son's face and she tried to pull her hand back as the hand Merlin had on her arm started to burn.

"No!" Merlin roared; rocking the shelves and the trolley in front of him. Hunith squirmed to try and get her hand free.

"Merlin! Merlin, you're hurting me sweetheart!"

"Merlin!"

At the second shout Merlin turned his head, looking in confusion at Will as he abandoned the trolley he was pushing and ran down the aisle towards them. That was one thing in Will's favour; Merlin couldn't scare him.

Merlin turned and let go of Hunith, recoiling back in horror but he realised he hadn't hurt her and he still vibrated with tension.

"Merlin?!" Will snapped. "Hunith!?"

"I don't know. I don't, he was fine, we were choosing the other crisps, not the Pringles and then..."

They paused as Merlin flailed. Both of them knew Merlin's moods of old and knew to be wary of them.

"Merlin, sweetheart?" Hunith asked. She didn't care about the shoppers suddenly leaving the aisle, or the fact the crisps on the shelves were shaking, and shuddering in their packets. Not even the staff dared to intervene. At least she had Will beside her and despite everything, he stood with her, watching Merlin as his eyes gazed at nothing and fury animated his face. Then Merlin's hands started to roam over his body looking for something.

"Don't you damn well dare!" Merlin snarled as he fiddled with his phone, anger flashing off him like sparks. He got what he wanted and put the phone to his ear.

"Arthur?!"


	8. Chapter 8

His father had called him while he was driving to work. Naturally Arthur hadn't answered it, but had checked his phone once he had parked up and started walking across the car park. Uther had, unusually, left a message. He never usually did when ringing Arthur, since he had the belief that Arthur would simply drop everything and call him back when he realised he had rung. The message was very to the point.

"Call me as soon as you can. We've had a development."

"I need you to come over to the station," Uther said the moment Arthur rang him back, waiting until he got into his office before doing so.

"Why? I've got appointments this morning."

Arthur was, however, already looking through his diary to see if anything could be juggled about. If it concerned Merlin, Arthur wanted to deal with it.

"Not for two hours," Uther said with confidence. Arthur wondered if Uther had his own version of telepathic ability as he got that exactly right. Arthur wasn't exactly forthcoming with his schedule but Uther always seemed to know it. "And don't tell me that you are not prepared, you work too hard."

Arthur frowned into his mobile. "Pot, kettle, black; father."

"Don't be facetious."

"You told me that the other day."

"Arthur," Uther's voice sounded as if he was really trying to keep himself calm. "I gave the pictures to Leon. He's made two clear hits, one of them the one that Merlin was not sure of, and he was right to be unsure."

"How exactly?" Arthur asked abandoning his paperwork to listen to his father.

"We found him quickly because he is in the system. He's on remand for robbery. We can see him within the hour."

"The same prison as Cenred? You said he crossed paths with someone who was terrified of him," Arthur said apprehensively.

"Not the same boy. Cenred was contained within the secure unit. His contact with other prisoners limited. This boy has only been in there two months, and on remand. The wing he is housed in would mean that he wouldn't have come into contact with Cenred in any way."

"Yet, for some reason Merlin has picked him out."

"Which means he has to be connected. Interestingly his lawyer is trying to get a psychiatric evaluation so she can claim diminished responsibility. At the moment me bringing you is the best she is getting. We need to interview him now!"

"Great! I suppose Gwen can shuffle about for me. Freya's my first so she won't mind I guess."

"Can you meet me at the station in twenty minutes? I have to speak to the parents of the other boy Merlin identified and then we can drive over to the prison. If I'm still busy with them I'll have the desk sergeant give you the file, so you can look at it while your waiting."

Arthur had opened his briefcase to take out anything that was not relevant, and he closed it again, almost sending it off the edge of the desk as he tried to close it one handed.

"Bugger!"

"Arthur!"

"Sorry dad," Arthur said giving up on sorting himself out and instead said. "I'll be on the way in five minutes."

"Good."

Uther hung up on him and Arthur frantically organised himself, heading out of his office and quickly down the hallway to Gaius.

"Hi. My father's called, I need to go and follow something up."

Gaius peered at him from over the top of his glasses. "This 'something' being... what?"

"The pictures Merlin did, one of these lads is still alive."

"Goodness!" Gaius sat back in his chair. "In what capacity is he involved then?"

"That, I guess, is what we are going to find out."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"How the hell do you know my work schedule so well?" Arthur demanded as he read the file, settled in the backseat of the car. Uther sat in the passenger seat up front and Percival, clearly still attached to Uther's team, drove.

"If I need to know I phone your receptionist."

"Alice?"

"Do you have any other receptionists?" Uther asked.

"Now who's being facetious," Arthur said. "And you can stop that. If you want to know what I'm doing, ask me."

"I do; you lie."

"I do not!"

"What do you think of this development then?" Uther asked, changing the subject to something Arthur could not ignore. He looked down at the file in his hands.

"I'm not sure. We could assume that he might have been a future victim but I don't think Merlin's talents go as far as..."

"Precognition," Percival said as Arthur paused to think of the right word.

"Sorry?" Arthur said.

"Second sight, the ability to see the future, it's called precognition. I've been reading."

"Really?" Arthur asked.

"I do read you know," Percival said, slightly irritably. "What happened with Merlin, and you, made me think. So I've done some reading."

"But you don't think Merlin could have done that?" Uther asked Arthur.

"I know we need to lay aside some scepticism," Arthur mused. "But what Merlin saw, via Morgause, was in the here and now, as it happened, and he was connected to her in some way. Cenred acted as some kind of conduit between them, bridging that gap."

Arthur looked up, his father turned in the passenger seat to look at him, and Arthur got the hint in his father's eyes. Cenred wasn't the only one capable of that, Arthur had felt Merlin himself; feeling something pass between them on more than one occasion. He didn't comment on that.

"That leaves us with two options, that he was a victim in some way and had been noticed by one of them previously... or..."

"Or he was in some way involved with them," Uther concluded. "We should hopefully be able to get a DNA sample for comparison but I don't want this to be used as leverage by his solicitor."

"Surely they can't if it proves that he was involved with either of them."

"There is no one to corroborate or deny it now, Arthur."

Arthur looked down at the notes, exhaling slowly. He had dealt with that.

"Merlin would have been aware of it, if he had encountered him. But since he wasn't sure, I don't know what we can make of it."

"I dare say there is no point in any of this speculation," Uther announced briskly. "All we can do his question him and see what answers we get. Merlin was not sure of who he was, or what connection he had, therefore he has not encountered him, but has felt a connection in some way. Gwaine and Morgana drove over this morning to speak to the relevant people to authorise the interview. With any luck, we will be able to get straight in and get some answers."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Arthur's stomach stirred nervously as they entered the prison and several of the inmates stared at them as they passed by the yard. The two previous times he had been here the comments had not been pretty. However, as they passed through this time they met a wall of silence. Comments were muttered between the men and although Arthur felt their eyes following him, no one called out, no obscenities came their way.

As if sensing his unease Percival positioned himself on Arthur's left, acting as a barrier between him and the prisoners on the other side of the sturdy fence.

"Thanks," Arthur said.

"I don't think I'm doing much of anything."

"They don't seem to want to say anything with you there."

"It's not me," Percival murmured, his eyes scanning the men who watched them enter. All of them watching Arthur with wary expressions, most of them not entirely sure what to make of him.

"What is it then?"

"They might be locked away, but they don't live in bubbles, Arthur. News gets in, especially about one of their own. You killed one of the worst of them, one of those in the Ivory Tower."

"The what?" Arthur asked, he looked at Percival, catching the gaze of a nearby prisoner as he turned, and the man averted his eyes.

"It's their nickname for the secure unit. You killed Cenred Arthur, you are not, in their eyes, an easy piece of meat."

Arthur shivered, eyes scanning the yard of men. Some of them still walked around, a group of them played a desultory game of football, but the action slowed as Arthur walked past that section of the yard. The whole walk took him no longer than thirty seconds but it felt like thirty minutes, as he could now not help but process the expressions, and actions of the men, as they turned to look at him, and glance at each other. They eyed him with interest and apprehension; as if examining a creature they had assumed was harmless, and that appearance had been proved to be deceptive.

Arthur turned his head, putting his eyes squarely on his father's back so he wouldn't look, but the action now was pointless, the expressions were printed on his memory.

In front of him Uther strode along behind the guard accompanying them hardly looking around, seemingly unaware of the ripples around him. Arthur didn't think his father missed anything that he wanted to observe about the environment. But he knew what he wanted to know and how to find it. Arthur sighed inwardly as he caught sight of a familiar face in the form of Gilli. Arthur hadn't tracked his progress since they had removed him from the hospital, or at least not as diligently as he normally would have. Other things had got in the way of that and he watched the boy's face light up at the sight of him and then fade when it occurred to him that Arthur wasn't there for him.

Arthur gave him a half-smile, in the hope of looking somewhat reassuring, and a nod that indicated, he would get onto finding out what was going on regarding him. That was, for the moment, all Arthur could do as they crossed over the threshold, heading into the dark interior of the prison.

Gilli hesitated, watching Arthur disappear into the building, hearing someone mutter behind him, querying the yard's reaction to Arthur.

"He's the one that fucking killed that nutter in the Ivory Tower."

"Knock off a psycho and you can get away with murder."

"Having daddy as a police officer helps. Inside job if ever I saw one," another voice drawled. Gilli quailed inwardly as the voice rose. "Oi squit!"

He turned to Tindr trying not to cower as he met the gaze of the large greasy looking man who had called out. He lounged against one wall with his cellmate, an equally odious character, both of whom enjoyed bullying the weaker inmates. They could only ever get at Gilli when his own cellmate wasn't there.

"How you do you know him?"

Gilli glanced around the yard. The exchange had been noticed because so much focus had been on Arthur. Gilli saw their interest, an interest that might abate the bullying, even temporarily. And the look Arthur gave him made him think that perhaps he hadn't entirely burned his bridges. There was a risk in saying something, but it also might get him to the phone at the right time to get through to Arthur and plead his case.

"I was at the hospital, on the rehab programme," Gilli said, trying to sound casual. "He was my therapist."

It knocked the smiles off his two tormentors faces as he was surrounded, questions asked and curious faces waited the answers. His stomach fluttered at the attention. He didn't want to say anything against Arthur, but he might need to use the kudos.

Whatever Arthur had done, real or imagined by him, Gilli knew Arthur was nice, and he tried to help. He'd help in any way he could. Opening his mouth Gilli decided, if nothing else, he had enough truths to tell.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Arthur brooded as they made their way deeper into the building, pausing for gates to be unlocked and for them to pass through security. Once in they lingered in the corridor outside one of the rooms used for interviews and visits.

"He's in G-wing," Uther said. "The other side of the building. It tends to house those on remand, and for short term sentences."

"But he's near, they might have crossed paths. Plus he could just be close enough. I sensed something wrong with Merlin and he was at the pub ten minutes away from me."

"You and Merlin had time to connect, prior to that."

"It didn't take that long," Arthur argued.

"You did it with close contact."

"I didn't know what I was doing. Cenred had an advantage over me on that score."

"Your actions may not have been done consciously, but you work without thinking."

Arthur frowned at his father. "Thanks, I think."

"You know what I mean."

"Yes. So, assuming that being on remand is not the connection, why has Merlin picked him out?"

"That would be the point of asking questions Arthur," Uther said. Both of them turned to look as the sound of a gate unlocking echoed around the corridor. Morgana appeared first, followed by Gwaine, who flanked the young man in question. He looked around with interest as Gwaine led him forward. On the other side walked a woman, who spoke to the youth as they walked. Arthur frowned as he stared at her.

"I presume that's the boy's solicitor," Uther mused.

As they came closer and Gwaine led the boy into the room while the woman walked towards them. Uther held out his hand.

"DCS Pendragon."

She gave a curt nod in acknowledgement. "I'm Mithian Rhodes."

Arthur's eyebrows shot up as he imagined the neatly styled hair, currently pinned up in a chignon, dropping around the girl's shoulders and he mentally replaced the neat suit with tight jeans and a strappy, sequined top, and he got the woman whom Will had been meeting in the pub. As she turned to Arthur she looked mildly embarrassed. The recognition, it appeared, went both ways.

"This is my son, Dr Pendragon."

"Arthur," he corrected as he held out his hand, saying nothing of their previous meeting, although, technically, Arthur supposed that they had not met, but instead had glimpsed each other across a pub car park.

"Nice to meet you," she said. Her eyes moved from Arthur, to Uther and then back again. "I can't seem to find out why I'm meeting you, or what interest you have in my client."

She eyed Uther more than Arthur. Considering the cases Uther was involved in, Arthur guessed she had a right to be concerned, if her client was under any suspicion.

"For the moment, it is merely to see if we can get some information. There is no evidence that your client is involved in any crime."

A random drawing probably didn't prove anything. Uther did not want to casually start bringing any details of Merlin's talents into anything unless he had to.

"Shall we?" Uther asked, indicating to the door.

Mithian nodded and Uther allowed her to take the lead, Uther went in after her and Arthur tailed along at the back.

"Mordred, I'm DCS Pendragon. Please sit down," Uther ordered. Gwaine moved Mordred to the relevant chair and he thumped down into it, looking around curiously at the cluster of people. His eyes looked innocent but Arthur, having read the file, didn't believe that for a moment. Despite the facade on the young face, he got the feeling that it was simply being used so he could take everything in and then work the situation to his advantage.

Mithian automatically moved to sit next to Mordred and Morgana had retreated to the opposite side of the table, taking one of the three chairs on that side, Uther took the other and Arthur the last one. Gwaine retreated to the door, closing it quietly. Arthur opened his briefcase to extract his notebook and pen before sitting back.

Morgana went through the necessary talk to start the interview, introducing everyone in the room to Mordred, again assuring both Mordred and Mithian that he was under no suspicion for a crime. Uther always let Morgana do the talking. This time she spoke softly, purveying no threat. Under other circumstances it could be entirely different.

Mordred watched her, listening carefully, but his eyes occasionally glanced around which caused Arthur to notice their light colour, in contrast to his dark hair.

It made him think of Merlin, who had the same characteristics, although Merlin's hair looked almost black in the right light. Arthur let his mind probe deeper into that train of thought. He drew a small margin on the page of his notepad and started to jot the ideas down, remembering Morgause's brown eyes compared with her blonde hair.

Arthur himself had nothing unusual, nor had Cenred, with dark hair and eyes. Glancing sideways, he looked at Morgana, and he noted her in the observation, although as far as Arthur knew she didn't fit into the scheme of talents.

As he looked, and wrote, Uther raised his eyebrows. He knew the way Arthur took notes and knew the box meant a sideline of thought. With a slight roll of his eyes Arthur tilted the notepad to let Uther read it and watched as his father frowned and then shook his head in a way that neither agreed nor disagreed with the observation.

Morgana smoothly carried on talking, and although clearly listening to her Mordred watched Arthur and Uther's interaction.

"Mordred, I'm going to show you some photographs," Morgana announced gently. "I need you to tell me if you have seen either of these people before."

Mordred turned his attention back to her and Arthur had put his notebook back in his lap, his pen lingering over the paper as if poised to write something, while he watched the interview take place. Arthur didn't plan to write anything. Instead he slowly exhaled and let his mind relax. He still wasn't certain what he was doing, but he had tried something similar with Merlin, although this time he refrained from attempting to push with his mind. All he thought to do was keep himself open, waiting to see if anything would spark.

It made his head tingle, only a gentle reaction, as if hinting at the beginning of a headache but he concentrated on the feeling and waited. Morgana put the two pictures on the table. Mordred lent forward to look at them and Arthur felt a sudden increase in anxiety. His hand tightened on the pen and he let his hand drift, not really thinking about what he was writing, but he watched Mordred as he assessed the two pictures. Then he looked back up at Morgana.

"He was in here. In the tower," Mordred said. "I know who he is."

"Did you ever encounter him? Here at the prison," Morgana asked softly. Mordred gave his head a slight shake.

"No, they don't let them interact with us. I just knew he was in there. You hear stuff."

"What about her? Have you ever seen this woman?"

Mordred looked down at the pictures again and Arthur again felt the same sensation. He was forced to reassure himself that it was not his own emotion he was feeling, he picked up on Mordred, and watching him Arthur knew exactly whom he had encountered.

"No. I've never seen her before."

Arthur didn't think Mordred was lying about that, but something was making him anxious.

"Are you sure?" Uther asked.

Mordred looked mildly irritated. "Yes."

"I don't think that's true," Arthur informed him causing all eyes to turn to him. Arthur glanced at his father. "He's encountered Cenred. Something happened. Have you ever been in the hospital wing?"

Uther blinked in surprise. Arthur shrugged and turned his attention back to Mordred.

"Once."

"When?" Arthur asked. He jotted a note pointing out that was where Cenred had escaped the prison from, and showed it to Uther. His father gave a curt nod, understanding the sudden line of questioning. Arthur however, still thought there was more to it than that. There was no other reason for the peak in emotion, and Arthur entirely understood why Mordred would feel it. Mordred frowned at him giving a shrug.

"Dunno. I just had flu, is all."

Arthur raised his eyebrows, looking unconvinced. "You also in the first week you arrived here got into a fight and ended up with broken ribs, a sprained wrist and concussion, and were in the ward on the day that Cenred suffered a seizure which resulted in him being taken to the hospital wing and subsequently escaping."

"I never saw him," Mordred snapped, eyes narrowing as he answered.

"Arthur?" Uther queried carefully, a level of warning in his tone.

"He's run into Cenred somewhere along the way," Arthur said. "Maybe not then, but it feels like he has encountered him somewhere."

Mordred's eyes narrowed as he glared at Arthur. Then Arthur felt it.

The pressure in his mind was so violent that he gasped as he felt it, and instinctively Arthur slammed up the mental wall in his mind. Taken by surprise by Mordred's sudden attack he was too late to really defend himself and it felt like something stabbed sharply into his mind, his vision blurring.

Uther turned in his chair, watching in shock as Arthur winced. He automatically reached out to him, also turning to look at Mordred, who simply stared at Arthur intently. Arthur however, suddenly looked up and glared back at Mordred.

All Uther could seem to see it as - as both of them reacted, standing up and lurching backwards - was two powerful opposing forces clashing and repelling each other. Arthur and Mordred moved in unison, both standing and stepping back, stumbling as they broke apart. Mithian gave a yelp as the two pictures flew across the table at speed, shooting across the room to drift to the floor on the far side of the table which rocked violently.

Arthur only dimly registered the commotion around him as the door burst open and Percival ran in with two guards in tow. Arthur's back slammed against the wall behind him as he felt his head pounding. Then from the back of his mind he felt something power forward, he knew the force, and it successfully shoved Mordred away. The stabbing pain in Arthur's head reduced to a thud and around him things went still.

"Bloody hell," Arthur swore, and it was testament to how worried Uther was that he didn't correct him. Instead he put a gentle hand on Arthur's arm.

"Arthur?" he questioned gently, then turned and pointed at Mordred before indicating to the chair he had vacated. "Sit him down!"

Percival and Gwaine moved to oblige, doing nothing more than stepping towards Mordred. Percival righted the chair and Gwaine took Mordred's arm to lead him back.

Everyone jumped again as a phone started to ring. Arthur winced and rummaged into his pocket to retrieve it. He didn't even look at the screen as he answered it, speaking as soon as the connection was made.

"Merlin, I'm fine."

Arthur didn't entirely sound it, and Merlin in his response, remained unconvinced.

"What?! What is going on? Where are you?"

"Long story. Merlin, I'm fine," Arthur's voice thickened. "Except, I feel sick. I'm going to throw up."

"Arthur!" Merlin yelled, which did nothing to help. Uther took the phone from Arthur's nerveless fingers.

"Merlin, it's Uther. I'm with Arthur, he is fine. Percival, get him to the toilet, there is one just down the hall."

Arthur coughed, then swallowed heavily. He had no desire to vomit in the middle of an interview room. He felt a firm grip on his arm, which eased him away from the wall, and in the direction of the door. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a blurred outline which he knew to be Percival. Arthur staggered out, letting Percival guide him, while Uther followed them, talking as he carried on reassuring Merlin that Arthur was fine.

Uther paused in the doorway and turned to Morgana, catching Gwaine in the gaze at the same time.

"Keep going, see if you can get some answers."

Uther swiftly followed Percival and Arthur. Percival shoved open the door and guided Arthur towards a cubicle. Arthur staggered in, putting his hands up to the walls to steady himself as he leant over the bowl. His stomach clenched and the bile rose in his throat. Arthur gagged and retched. His body clenched again and it happened a second time, a hand ran up and down his back.

"Steady breaths, son."

Arthur exhaled and felt his body relax, the tension in his torso easing and he took several slow breaths. Behind him he could hear Percival talking. Uther had passed the phone over to concentrate on Arthur.

"Merlin, he's fine, just been sick a couple of times. Give him a few seconds and I'll put him back on." There was a short pause. "I know, I know, but I don't think I can start telling you that." Another pause and Percival's next words were directed to Uther. "He wants to know where we are."

As the pain and sickness eased Arthur straightened up, taking one hand away from the wall, but keeping the other one against the other side of the cubicle for balance. He held out his hand.

"Give me the phone."

Uther nodded to Percival who passed it over. Arthur took that as a hint that he could be honest with Merlin.

"Merlin?"

"Arthur, what's going on?" Merlin's voice, although now calmer, had hardened. Arthur didn't think that lying to him, or talking around the situation was a good idea.

"I'm at the prison. That picture you weren't sure of, he's here, and there is most definitely something."

"Something," Merlin snarled. "I'm coming over there."

"Merlin. Merlin, no! I'll come and see you when I get back."

"I'm coming over now," Merlin snapped the four words, emphasizing each one, daring Arthur to argue with him, and sounding like someone enforcing rules to a child.

"Merlin, they won't let you in, you're better off just waiting and I'll come to you."

Arthur tried to argue the point but he could hear someone on the background talking to Merlin. A woman's voice, who he presumed was Hunith's, and then a man's which he couldn't immediately recognise.

"I'll take him, you just finish your shopping, I can come back to mine. I was only getting the bits mum forgot yesterday."

"Are you sure Will?" Hunith's voice asked.

The background conversation continued and Merlin turned his attention to Arthur.

"I'm coming now," Merlin snapped. "If they won't let me in then I'll just wait outside for you."

Uther, it appeared, could hear Merlin's voice. Arthur frowned as Uther took the phone from him, but Uther ignored him and spoke to Merlin.

"I'm going to have Arthur escorted out and conclude the interview myself. He'll be waiting outside when you get here, although I don't want either of you going anywhere." Uther paused and listened. "Very well Merlin. I will talk to you soon. Here's Arthur again."

Uther gave him the phone and at a nod at Percival and a light hand on Arthur's forearm that squeezed gently, reassuring and warning at the same time, Uther made his way out.

"He will probably leave a guard outside the door, when we are ready they will escort us out," Percival said.

"Merlin, I'm being taken out, I'll wait for you."

Merlin didn't sound happy but he cut the connection and presumably was getting down to the business of getting himself to Arthur. Arthur closed his eyes and leant back against the cubical wall.

"Are you all right?" Percival asked.

"I'm not going to be sick again, but I've got a headache."

"What did that kid do? It was like a tidal wave was going through that room."

"What?" Arthur looked up, watching as Percival shrugged.

"I walked into that room and felt, well nothing really, but it seemed hard to get in there without an obstacle being... there..." Percival's eyes wandered and he frowned. "I don't think that describes it well but..."

"Never mind," Arthur turned and spat the mouthful of gathering spittle into the bowl, feeling his stomach slowly settle. "Just get me out of here."

Percival waited while Arthur straightened up, exhaling heavily, wanting to make completely sure that the feelings of nausea were under control. He wavered on his feet, but since Percival, watching carefully, didn't seem to feel the need to dive forward and help him Arthur got the impression he was stable enough.

Arthur turned and followed Percival to the bathroom door, walking out into the plain, sterile corridor. As Percival had anticipated, a guard stood waiting for them, holding Arthur's briefcase and notebook as if they might be unexploded bombs. Arthur took them and Percival herded Arthur along behind the guard. No one spoke as they backtracked their route. The yard area had emptied, and the silence that hung over it felt eerie. Arthur shook his head, dismissing the shiver that ran down his spine.

"Are you all right?" Percival asked.

Arthur nodded, turning his gaze to the guard in front of him and concentrating on getting out of the prison. It was as they left the front gate that Arthur relaxed his shoulders, exhaling heavily, to release the breath he didn't realise he had been holding. Seeing the reaction Percival repeated the question he had previously asked.

"Now I'm out of there," Arthur answered.

"Not the most pleasant of places," Percival said taking Arthur firmly by the arm and guiding him over to the car. He supposed he could have raised some objection to the manhandling but as Percival seemed so concerned Arthur let Percival lead him over and encourage him to sit on the bonnet. Percival perched next to him.

"Especially considering I nearly ended up there," Arthur mused looking at the forbidding wall that surrounded the prison.

"What?"

Arthur glanced sideways. "I killed two people, they could have taken me to court."

"No way would you have been sent to prison Arthur. If that was the reason you accepted the conditional caution then you needn't have worried."

"There was a bit of that; also myself accepting what I did."

"You'd have never been done for murder," Percival reiterated. "You killed a violent man who tortured people and an insane woman who was a murderer."

"I suppose," Arthur said.

"No suppose about it. Do you want a coffee?"

"Huh?" Arthur murmured in confusion, staring at Percival who nodded his head to a point across the road.

"The cafe over there. Do you want a coffee, while we wait. Your dad may be a while and he doesn't want you going anywhere."

Arthur wasn't certain he did want anything but it meant Percival would give him some time alone to let him get his head together.

"Sure."

Percival eased himself up and then looked down at Arthur. "Stay right there though. I can see you from over there."

"I'll not move an inch," Arthur said feeling slightly amused. Percival gave him a look of disapproval and Arthur raised his hands. "I'm fine, I'll stay right here. At least they brought me my notes out, so I can at least amuse myself for five minutes."

"Okay then," Percival said, sounding less than amused, to the point that Arthur looked at him with some surprise. "I got into enough trouble when Merlin went walkabout. Uther will kill me if anything happens to you on my watch."

"Percival, I'm not going anywhere," Arthur repeated, sounding slightly shocked. The bigger man seemed reassured by that and headed off across the road towards the cafe that lay on the opposite corner. It seemed a very odd place to set up shop. There was an industrial area sprawling behind the tatty looking row of shops and houses, but Arthur guessed that perhaps those heading to and from the prison stopped in the tiny, red-bricked, cafe that offered take-outs and all day breakfasts if the A-frame board outside was anything to go by. For some reason thinking about the breakfast made the smell of fried food assail Arthur's nostrils and his stomach churned again.

To distract himself he picked his briefcase up off the floor and rummaged inside to find Mordred's file. Opening it up he started to read again, with an entirely different perspective in mind.


	9. Chapter 9

Percival returned not only with two coffees, in what seemed to be very flimsy cardboard cups, but two breakfast baguettes wrapped in paper.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted anything."

Arthur eyed the baguette unenthusiastically and shook his head. He did take the drink. He felt thirsty and although coffee was not likely to be the best thing, it was better than nothing and he didn't want to send Percival over there again.

"Not just yet. Maybe in a bit."

The added placation didn't seem to reassure Percival, he frowned at Arthur.

"Are you sure you're all right?"

"Percival, I'm fine. But I have just been sick, I'm not sure I want to eat anything just yet. I can smell that thing, I did before you even came back with it. I'm sorry, it was a nice gesture, but I just don't want it right now. If you don't want it to go to waste, you can always give it to Gwaine when he comes out."

"Might have it myself first," Percival said as he sat back on the bonnet next to Arthur balancing his coffee down on a nearby bollard and unwrapping one of the baguettes. Arthur eyed the bacon and sausage and wrinkled his nose as he smelt it.

"I can go over there," Percival said pointing across the road. Arthur shook his head.

"I'm fine, the smell is a bit strong."

Percival frowned and sniffed at the sandwich. "It's not that bad."

"Does the cafe smell of fry ups?" Arthur suddenly asked.

Percival pondered and shrugged. "I guess. A bit fatty maybe. I should start going to the gym again really."

Arthur watched Percival start to devour the sandwich and wondered. He had smelt fried food when Percival had gone into the cafe, Arthur wondered if he was channelling the closest person to him. He didn't really understand it, but he had felt a strong enough scent that he could have almost been in the shop. Arthur sipped his coffee and looked up at the dull thud and following groan which indicated the small pedestrian door to the prison had opened.

Percival watched, chewing frantically and wiping his face with a tiny paper napkin that looked like it might disintegrate at any moment, as Mithian stepped through turning to briefly speak to the guard before she stepped away from the door. For a moment she paused, looking around, staring at the cafe for a second before she noted the pair settled on the car and she started to walk in their direction. Arthur stood up as she came nearer and Percival followed, looking for somewhere to dump his crumbs, napkin and paper wrapping.

"The bin is across the road," Arthur pointed out.

"Okay."

Percival walked away and as Mithian reached Arthur she turned to glance at Percival's back before returning her attention to Arthur.

"I'm sorry, for what Mordred did in there."

From the way she spoke, and the look in her eyes, Arthur realised she had no idea what had happened. But it worked as an opener to the conversation, since whatever her client had done had been aimed at Arthur. Arthur shrugged, unsure if he could explain it, or even wanted to. He regarded her carefully, she looked as neatly tailored as Morgana, although Mithian seemed somehow softer and certainly less intimidating. Her make-up looked subtle, her lips a soft coral rather than Morgana's dramatic red.

"It's fine," Arthur said, hoping that put the incident to rest.

Mithian frowned, not only Arthur's reaction but the reaction of everyone around her made her realise that it was not fine. After a short pause, Mithian broke the uncomfortable silence, her voice sounding businesslike. Which was, it became apparent, what she wanted to discuss.

"I have been trying to get hold of your boss. Gaius, is it?"

"Yes."

"I sent a few emails, about Mordred. I just wondered if he might be eligible for something..." She paused, not seeming to know what that something was.

"Dad did say that you had been trying to get him evaluated. How the cases are dealt with depends on circumstances; and I'm sorry... you tried to send Gaius an email?"

Mithian frowned as Arthur smirked, a lot.

"Yes, the last one must have been about two weeks ago. I have tried several times before that."

"Unfortunately, Gaius doesn't turn his computer on unless he is forced to, or he accidently hits the switch. I did look through his emails not long ago but some had been erased as his inbox was full. Didn't you try phoning?"

Mithian bit down on her lip, flushing slightly.

"No, I'd got the number of the admin section of the hospital, and then eventually the Camelot annexe, but not any sort of extension. I'd hoped to speak to him directly rather than leave any message."

In other words, she hadn't wanted to leave anything open to interpretation, which then might colour their perception of Mordred.

"I was hoping, since you were here, that I could try and arrange to speak to him. I know on paper Mordred doesn't exactly sound hopeful, and I don't think he helped himself today, but I think if he got proper help he could sort himself out, stay off the drugs and..."

"And become a fully functioning member of society?"

Mithian blinked and stared. Arthur's brain caught up with how that comment sounded.

"Sorry, that was uncalled for."

Arthur felt his face flush, and to hide his embarrassment he took a hurried sip of his hot coffee. The paper cup flexed under the pressure. Droplets ran onto his fingers and naturally dripped onto his tie.

"Damn!" Arthur swore. He looked around for somewhere to put the cup on, that was not his father's car bonnet or a precarious bollard. He couldn't put down the file in his other hand, the papers were threatening to escape as it was.

Seeing the dilemma Mithian reached into her jacket pocket and produced a delicate looking handkerchief. Reaching out she dabbed at his tie, mopping up the droplets of coffee. With his hands still full and Percival doing nothing to help but contenting himself to view the scene from a distance, Arthur just watched her. On the blue material the wet stain didn't really show as Mithian dabbed at it.

"There," she said. "No harm done."

Arthur looked down at his tie.

"Doesn't matter really. I have about twenty of them."

"You really like ties."

Arthur gave up on his coffee and settled it on a bollard. If it fell, it fell. He started to get the file back into some semblance of order.

"No," he told Mithian. "But when I was job hunting my mum seemed to think that every interview or meeting needed me to have a new tie."

"Like a mascot?"

Arthur shrugged reaching out but not quickly enough as a gust of wind tipped his coffee over, spilling the liquid on his shoes and the hem of his trousers, sending the cup skittering across the road. It was at that moment Percival decided to rescue it. Arthur decided to ignore him.

"I guess," he answered Mithian. Mithian held out one hand to take the file from him and with her other hand offered her handkerchief.

"That's all right," Arthur said shaking his feet to dislodge some of the liquid. Mithian smiled at him.

"By the time I got the job at the Camelot Annexe I had enough ties to see me through to retirement."

He looked at the frayed point of his tie.

"Maybe."

He flushed as he realised Mithian was trying not to laugh. Arthur decided he wasn't just socially awkward, he was socially ridiculous. With that in mind he went back to something he was good at, and he continued to tidy up the file.

"So, Mordred? You were hoping to have him accepted into the annexe?"

"I know he doesn't sound like the best of candidates but his background is in the file." Arthur had glanced through it but Mithian filled him in anyway.

"He lost his parents when he was young and his guardian died before Mordred reached his teens. He found the body and I don't think the police really helped him."

Arthur nodded. "I read most of that."

"Only the reports," Mithian said. "I don't think he really wanted to get into drugs, or start thieving, but that's just how it happened. To him it seemed to be the done thing. I think if someone tried to help him, offered him something, he would take it."

"That's not actually my decision, especially due to current circumstances. I can try and talk to Gaius, and get him and Nimueh to review the case."

He said that knowing full well that he would not refuse. Mithian's face lit up as she smiled, which made Arthur realise what Will saw in her.

"That would be great, at least a start. That's my card."

Arthur took the small rectangle of card and raised his eyebrows as he read the name.

"You're a partner?"

"No, my father is. Of course he's expecting me to pick up the reins one day."

"I know that feeling."

Mithian smiled. "I used to go to court with him and watch some of it. I couldn't imagine wanting to do anything else."

In response Arthur gave a huff of laughter.

"You didn't though?" she asked.

"My dad did the same thing to me, and I went the opposite way."

Arthur had to concede there were more factors than that but he wasn't going to disclose them.

"I can let you know later today. Having done some of the hospital admin recently I know there is some funding in the budget, for more than one case... but..."

Arthur's voice slowed, he blinked and his memory replayed Gilli's face. Mithian waited as Arthur's eyes drifted and then refocused on her with some definite purpose that seemed to involve her.

"While I'm looking at that. I have an ex-patient that appears to have ended up in there. I'd like to know what's happening to him. The charge is probably drug related. If I gave you some information, could you find out what's going on? I really don't think he should be in there."

Mithian nodded. "If I have his name and address I can chase it up. Are their any family members?"

Arthur blinked, looking incredibly upset for a moment. "No. I was all he had."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Merlin, calm it down, we're on the way. We'll be there in five minutes."

Although Will had lived through more than one of Merlin's tantrums, this one surpassed anything he had ever seen before. He had never seen an entire aisle in Tesco cower before him and never had Merlin been so furious.

"I want to get to Arthur."

"That smarmy arse told you he was fine. Why would he say any different? Just settle down Merlin, it's hard to drive the car when you are like this! Sit back, and just stop it; right now, just stop it!"

Will braked hard just to emphasise his point, which meant the person behind him, a little distance away was forced to slam on their own brakes and Will swerved to the kerb, hitting the indicator to inform the person behind him that he was about to pull over and park. The car screeched past with a wail of his horn. It caused Merlin to flinch a fraction, a slight gesture that Will spotted out of the corner of his eye. He turned to look at Merlin.

"Just calm down. You're going to be no good to Arthur behaving like this. His dad said he was fine, and you know he's okay right?"

Merlin stared at Will for a moment before slowly nodding. Will gave a heavy sigh, slumping back into his seat. He didn't reach out to touch Merlin, he felt afraid to; but then it occurred to him, they had never really done things like that. There had been play fights, and throwing things but never touches, or hugs, anything like that. Will wondered why he was considering something that had never been any part of their repertoire before.

"Sorry Merlin. I didn't mean to scare you, but you need to settle down."

Will turned to look at him, one hand on the ignition to turn the engine off if Merlin refused to obey. Wide-eyed and shaking, Merlin slowly nodded, sitting back in his seat in a very deliberate gesture.

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry Merlin, just be calm."

Merlin nodded and as Will shifted the gears and pedals about to move the car again Merlin said.

"You didn't like it when I was calm for months."

Will almost stalled the car. They pulled up to a set of lights and Will turned to look at him.

"What do you mean? While you were...? That wasn't calm Merlin, that was you almost dead! I didn't want you to be dead!"

They both blinked as they stared at each other and Will looked away, staring at the red light and his hands tightened on the steering wheel as he prayed for the amber light to brighten, then it would be green and he could drive, and there was something other than Merlin for him to focus on.

"Sorry. I just..."

The amber light came into play and Will roared forward, almost over the crossing before it turned green.

"I hated you like that."

"What?" Merlin roused himself long enough to realise that Will had said something significant.

"You... just lying there, I hated you!"

"That wasn't what you said," Merlin replied after a pause, and once Will's driving had slowed to a manageable pace.

"What did I say?"

"You said you hated me like that."

"Well, of course I did. Everyone did!"

"No one hated me!" Merlin said blinking in shock. Will glanced at him, while still trying to concentrate on the road. He slowed down a little and although his gaze stayed on the road, quite clearly part of his mind had turned it's attention to the conversation.

"Perhaps," Will said slowly. "But I did though."

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

It stayed very quiet between them. Will concentrated on the road, turning corners and keeping the car steady.

"It's not your fault," Merlin said.

"I got told that."

"It's true. You couldn't handle me. I couldn't handle you; there was nothing but anger and... I couldn't do it."

"You shut me out."

"I had to."

"And you let that blond prat in!"

"Arthur did nothing wrong. He didn't ask for anything."

"Neither did I!"

"You wanted me back the way I was, even now I can't do that for you and Arthur is not a prat!"

"You knew who I was talking about."

"That makes him blond, but not a prat."

Will's hands tightened on the steering wheel as he turned the final corner and the huge imposing entrance to the prison came in sight and so did Arthur, Mithian and Percival. Will pulled the car in, unable to do so in a designated space so he just pulled up and sat in the car while Merlin opened the door. He paused as he put his foot on the ground and looked back at Will.

"I'm fine. I can't be what I was, but I'm fine, and I'm still me."

Will looked at him steadily. "I know, but Arthur's still a prat."

Merlin smirked, looking like his old self, it flickered in his face, just behind what Will saw now when he looked at Merlin. He was different and it was not as simple as being changed by what happened to him.

"Be careful though," Will said. "With Arthur."

Sinking back into the car seat Merlin stared at Will, frowning as he did so.

"Why? What to you mean?"

"Whatever happened to you. Not just the stuff... that stuff..." Will looked uncomfortable and by the intonation Merlin knew he meant what Cenred had done to him. "But... your head... your mind; I can see it, you're stronger, way stronger than you ever used to be."

Merlin continued to frown, processing that. Then slowly he nodded and gave a brief, grateful smile.

"I know, and I will."

Will watched Merlin get out of the car and walk swiftly over to Arthur. He turned off the engine and frowned when he realised Mithian stood close by. Looking around he guessed he could get away with leaving the car where it was, as long as he didn't go too far away from it. He made the vague assumption that if someone tried to give him a ticket then the police officer, which is what he presumed Percival was, could deal with it.

As he opened the door Mithian looked just as surprised to see him as he felt seeing her. Easing herself away from Arthur she walked around the car to him, her heels clicking against the tarmac as she walked.

"Hi."

Her tone made the greeting a question.

"I brought Merlin. What happened to Arthur?"

"I've no idea," she said looking shocked. Will glanced at Merlin and Arthur, who appeared to be doing an awful lot of reassuring Merlin that he was fine. Merlin, as far as Will could tell, looked very unconvinced.

"They've got a pretty intense relationship," Will said by explanation. "I guess... well... you're at work so I suppose you can't tell me what happened. Do you want a coffee, we may as well leave those two to it."

Mithian blinked and nodded. Will shut the door of the car and locked it.

"Can you leave it there like that?"

Will shrugged and looked past her as the prison door opened again. Uther, Morgana and Gwaine stepped out.

"Since it's about to be surrounded by that lot I don't think any traffic warden would stand a chance. Especially against that smarmy git!"

Percival, who had moved away to give Merlin and Arthur some privacy, snorted in amusement. By the look in his eye he knew exactly who Will was referring to.

"It's fine, go on," he added, still smirking. Will grinned and taking Mithian's arm started to lead her across the road.

"It was Merlin and Arthur, on New Years Eve."

She felt Will's hand tighten on her arm, but he relaxed the moment she reacted to the pressure and he let her go, instead putting his arm out to guide her, being careful not to touch her.

"Yes."

"But Arthur is Merlin's psychiatrist, I don't understand why you got so upset."

"Actually he's not. After what happened he's not, and I think Merlin worries about that."

"Why?" Mithian asked. "Arthur came out to get him that night, after he had called. You hadn't lost Merlin for that long, so he must have been pretty quick getting there."

"I know. I know," Will said stopping walking and closing his eyes. Mithian watched him grimace, as if a deep pain passed through his body. It only lasted a moment before he somehow seemed to shake it off, although the darkness lingered in his eyes for a moment longer. "Come on, let's get a coffee."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"What happened?" Merlin demanded after listening to several minutes of Arthur's reassurances that everything was fine. Even after all that, and the fact that Arthur looked fine, if a little pale, Merlin wasn't that convinced.

"I don't know. Well, I do sort of know but it just took me by surprise. I wasn't really doing anything, except..."

"Except what?" Merlin demanded sternly.

"I think I sort of kept my mind open..." Arthur tailed off, leaning back as he saw the fury in Merlin's blue eyes.

"Sort of..." Merlin snapped. "What the fuck did you do that for?!"

The four of them stood a discreet distance away, and Will and Mithian across the road, just about to enter the cafe turned to look at Merlin in shock. They were just getting used to his recovery and during that time he had been quite pensive and soft spoken, now his entire personality seemed to have completely flipped.

"I didn't really..."

"Jesus Christ Arthur... you would have thought that you'd consider how dangerous that is! You saw the measures I had to resort to in order to protect myself. Now it appears that I have to protect you as well!"

Arthur blinked, staring at Merlin in shock. "I'm a bit mad at myself as well, you know."

He paused and looked at Merlin, who appeared to be settling.

"Are you...? Is that me doing that?"

Merlin raised his eyebrows. He had calmed down, looking around, as he glanced over at Will the other man made something of a calming gesture at Merlin before he guided Mithian through the door of the cafe. Merlin nodded at him.

"No. I can feel that, but it's me that's angry. I nearly destroyed the crisp aisle in Tesco, that was all me."

Arthur snorted with laughter, and Merlin narrowed his eyes. Biting down on his lip Arthur attempted to pull himself together. He reached out to place a gentle hand on Merlin's arm.

"Look Merlin, I'm really, really sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, or frighten you. I just wasn't expecting Mordred to..."

"I drew him Arthur. You would think that would make you a little wary."

"You sensed what happened?" Uther asked. He had stayed a little way back but close enough that he could hear the conversation. Merlin glanced at him and nodded.

"As soon as he put pressure on Arthur's mind."

"I can't honestly say that I can begin to understand this sort of thing. For the most part I can hardly believe it, however I cannot ignore the evidence that you two keep presenting me with. What did happen Merlin?"

"I felt it, this... Mordred; he pushed into Arthur's mind."

"Was he trying to do any damage?"

Merlin huffed, glaring at Arthur. "He couldn't make him any more stupid. Will is right, you're a prat!"

Arthur frowned. "Hey!"

Merlin rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Uther. He stopped looking angry and looked rueful.

"No, no... I don't think he was." Merlin paused, chewing on his lower lip. "It was as if he was trying to push Arthur away."

"But I didn't do anything," Arthur said.

"You don't have to. I felt him, before I pushed him out."

"What do you mean you felt him Merlin? What does that actually mean?" Uther asked.

"Explain it to us idiots who have no clue," Gwaine added. Morgana smirked.

Merlin looked baffled for a moment.

"It's like. People get a sense of understanding how others feel. What they see in someone's face, they get a sense of, not just watching that but body language, and demeanour. Through that, your mind picks up bits of real emotion, because you understand what you are seeing, so you sympathize. You use your own emotion to understand."

"Wow, you've really thought about this," Gwaine said.

"No, Morgause did," Merlin said flatly. "Just in this case, her explanation is good."

"But with Arthur, and Cenred, they can feel what drives the surface emotion. People get angry because they are scared, they get scared because something relating to that previously upset them and they don't want it happening again."

"And that is what Cenred used to feed off?" Uther asked, very gently. Merlin's eyes tensed.

"He very much liked the surface emotions."

"And you cut off his supply," Morgana said interpreting what Merlin had said to Arthur, relating to his condition, his only way to fight back.

Merlin tensed, Arthur's hand on his arm slid down to Merlin's hand, taking it gently. Merlin gripped on, and as Merlin had just described, Arthur could feel more than just Merlin's anger. He felt the fear, Merlin was reacting because someone had attacked him. It left Merlin feeling rattled and insecure.

"It's okay Merlin."

"So who was he anyway?" Merlin asked.

"Unfortunately he clammed up after that incident. We can probably only question him further if we bring Arthur back in. Is there anything you can do to help protect him if we do that?"

Merlin looked flabbergasted as Uther asked him. He blinked and looked from Uther to Arthur and then back again.

"I think so. Arthur just need to make sure he's blocking any attacks."

"Can you help him with that?" Uther asked. Merlin nodded.

"He coped well enough against Morgause when you two dealt with her," Gwaine pointed out. "This kid should be something you can handle."

"Morgause didn't want Arthur damaged," Merlin said, causing all of them to fall silent.

"I don't think this kid is all bad, chances are they had him as an intended target. Mithian has been trying to get him assessed by us, to see whether or not he is a suitable candidate to be treated by us."

Arthur got the feeling he shouldn't have said that as they all stared at him, Merlin and Uther both giving him identical looked of disbelief and anger. He felt very relived when his phone chose that moment to ring. It gave him a distraction, especially as he looked at the name on the display.

"Katrina, hi." Arthur listened to her for a moment. "Shit! I had a little. It's probably written into my schedule though. It's before my class isn't it?"

Arthur rummaged around, trying to open his briefcase to look at his diary. Uther rolled his eyes and took the briefcase off Arthur, before he could drop it on the floor, opening it up and on finding the diary he opened it to the relevant page. To Arthur's relief he saw the relevant space blocked out.

"Yes, it's in. Thank you for reminding me though. Are there still spaces?"

Merlin frowned as Arthur glanced at him, a speculative look in his eye.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow."

"What?" Merlin asked.

"Do you want to come to my art class tomorrow?" Arthur asked Merlin.

"Art class?"

"Yeah, do you want to come?" Arthur repeated. Merlin frowned, wondering if somewhere in that invitation was an apology for what had occurred today. Looking at Arthur's pale, sincere face Merlin couldn't help but smile. Although Uther's voice broke through to break the tentative truce.

"Don't think you are getting out of explaining why you agreed to help Mordred."


End file.
